Catching Idle Butterflies

34 Weeks

“Can I make that large of a commitment?” I asked myself for two weeks after Pastor Kermit mentioned the Disciple class starting up in a month. Not only is 34 weeks a long time, but I would have to spend 30 minutes every day to read my Bible and do the lessons, plus meet every Sunday for 2½ hours with other participants.

As I bounced the question around, I kept remembering when I was 18. We all wish to be that age again in certain ways. For most of us, we are at are healthiest and full of energy and hope for the future. I was closest to God at 18. I knew my scripture; I had no fear of proclaiming my faith to those who would listen – even some who didn’t.

I knew how to dance.

Now here I sat, having given all that up 15 years ago. I no longer knew my scripture. I couldn’t proclaim my faith because I had none. I wanted to be eighteen again, because now I crawled instead of danced.

Growth like that takes time, and I was starting over. I tried to be comfortable with crawling back to my faith. I attended church and went to Wednesday night Bible study. A year later, still I crawled, unable to stand on my two feet. Admittedly, I was getting impatient.

Then comes Disciple, a perfect opportunity to stand, to walk, perhaps even to dance again. I wanted to know my Bible again; I wanted scripture to be written on my heart.

Now at the end, I realize how my expectations missed their mark.

I didn’t expect to make close friends. We’ve laughed together, cried together, prayed together, and learned more from each other than reading alone could ever accomplish. We’ve supported each other during difficult times, praised God when He answered our many prayers how we wanted. I sometimes weep with joy at seeing how every other member has grown in their own faith.

I hear God’s voice every day, whether it be in a song on the radio, a comment from a friend, or in the simple buzzing of a bee.

He listens whenever I speak or pray. I sense Him smile when I’m happy, weep with me when I cry.

As each day passes I walk ever closer to Him, building a strong relationship I intend to never lose, and only keep making stronger.

Scripture has come alive. As I read, certain verses jump around the page, screaming for my utmost attention. When I give it, I find that one verse, chapter or paragraph is precisely what I need to know, and as I expected and hoped, it becomes written on my heart.

Every portion of the Bible is connected. I see Jesus as much in Genesis as I do in the Gospels. God has opened my heart and mind to the untold possibilities of Him and all He has created for us; all out of His perfect love and immeasurable desire for us to be near Him.

I've relearned how to dance.

All that and more I’ve gained from sacrificing a mere ½ hour a day and 2-3 hours on Sunday for 34 weeks.

That’s not much of a sacrifice after all.