Behind Hazel Eyes

Decisive Conversations

Theme #29 – Silhouette
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She had woken up this morning with a rather painful thump on the floor, having rolled off the bed in her haste. It was hard to believe that it’s been a week since classes began at Morimoto. Her daily routines had acquired a steady pattern – wake up, wash, grab a quick breakfast, run to the bus stop, get ready for classes, deal with the students and then stagger back home exhausted and just about ready to sleep for the rest of the week.

Since the ‘incident’ at the gate (a part of her was still in denial at what she had seen), Aurora had focused all her attention on her students adamantly refusing to think of Adam and that woman. Although some of them still misbehaved and did their best not to cooperate, Aurora was pleased to see that a majority were trying their best to work hard at the subject. Teaching English in elementary school was a trial and error process being carried out in the city and if this program was successful, then the government had plans to make it mandatory for all other schools. Aurora felt as if the weight of the language’s success was on her shoulders, and she was determined to make sure her students enjoyed it as much as possible.

She sat on the floor of her apartment, clipping the colorful cardboard papers she had bought down the street earlier in the day. She was creating the letters of the alphabet and planned to have it all dumped in a box and to have the students pick out the right ones whenever she pronounced them. It was going to be a fun way to get them more involved with the lessons. She had done something like this at the All Girls Camp, but instead of letters it had involved a box filled with raffle tickets for cool prizes.

The light from the single lamp on the desk, cast a dark and lonesome silhouette against the wall as she worked. It was another cool evening in the city and she had left the sliding doors open a little to let the fresh air in. The noises from her neighbors were no longer a nuisance to her. She was now used to the loud singing, the turned up television sets and the raucous laughter from them. In fact, she had come to think of these sounds as a part of ‘home’ and wouldn’t have it any other way. It was definitely a far cry from the sometimes lonely and quiet evenings at the mansion in the States.

Humming softly to herself, she eyed the clock and knew it was almost time to give her Dad a call. Being in different time zones was a pain, but she had come to know the exact moment to reach him. He wouldn’t be too busy at the hospital and would have enough time to chat with her for as long as she wanted. She missed him, that much was certain, but she was glad to see that she wasn’t so dependant on him anymore. She had always run to him whenever she was in trouble, always knowing that Daddy would pull her out of whatever pinch she found herself in.

“What did you really come here for, Aurora? Did you have some romanticized idea of teaching over here? Or maybe you’ve watched too many anime shows or dramas, hmm? Well, this is real life, sweetheart and definitely not a place for a rich little girl who would be better off in Daddy’s lap of luxury.

Her fingers faltered from its steady clipping as Adam’s sarcastic words filled her mind. She pursed her lips and tried to scowl, wondering why she hadn’t let go of those accusations up till now. She had done a good job of ignoring Adam at school since then and was rather glad for Sakura’s attentions. However, every now and then that deep, scornful voice would fill her head, making her wonder if she was even good enough to be in a place like this.

“Hmph,” she snorted and continued to clip, now with more force than necessary. “I don’t need him telling me what to do. So far I’ve been doing a good job and everyone’s saying so. Who cares what he thinks?”

But she knew she cared and that was the most aggravating thing of all. She would have loved to hear him commend her for her lessons or to at least acknowledge that she was doing a good job. She didn’t know why she ought to give a damn about it, but it surprised her to find that it hurt somehow. His nonchalance and cool attitude towards her was really beginning to bug her in more ways than one.

“Gah! Fuck him!” She tossed the scissors and papers away and picked up the phone, dialing the familiar numbers quickly as she lay on the bed. “Just stop thinking about him that’s all…just don’t….”

“Hello? Aurora?”

“Daddy!” she cried out in delight as the deep and soothing voice of her father filled her ears. She felt a ridiculous sting of tears at the back of her eyes, and the sudden but overwhelming urge to hug him. Pity he wasn’t nearby or she would have done so quite willingly. “How are you, Daddy?”

“I should be asking you that, sweetheart,” he replied with a soft laugh. “How’s the Teacher of the Year doing?”

“Har har, funny dad. But it’s all good, honest. My Japanese is getting better since I keep studying the tapes every night and hang out with Yunta…you remember Yunta, don’t you?”

“Ah yes, the young student who lives in the same building with you. That’s really fantastic to hear, sweetheart. And the staff and students in your school?”

“Not everyone’s warmed up to me yet.” She thought of Miho, who still wished it was Adam teaching them and sighed softly. “But I think I’m going to get to them eventually. It’s just a matter of time.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that you’re settling in,” Dr. Reed replied with a warm smile. “Now tell me how you are managing financially.”

She made a face. “Gee, dad. I told you I’m doing okay. If I needed money I’d tell you, right? And besides…”

Rich little girl…

She shook her head rapidly, cursing Adam within her mind. “And besides, I’m managing just fine. I’ve learned to be frugal with my spending.”

“That’s wonderful to hear, but I insist that you let me know once you find yourself in a bind. I’ll make sure I have Saito – you do remember Saito, don’t you?”

“Yes, I…”

“I’ll have him pay you a visit and give you some money, okay?”

She closed her eyes and decided that it wasn’t going to be worth arguing with her father about this. Whenever he became adamant about a plan, he stuck to it no matter what.

“Ah, and before I forget, that boyfriend of yours called me a few days ago.”

Aurora stiffened. “Tony? He’s no longer my boyfriend, dad. And what did he want by the way?”

“Hmm, well, he did want to know where you went to and I think he has plans to visit…”

“No!” she replied sharply as she sat up quickly. “Don’t you dare let him come here, daddy! We’ve broken up, okay? I don’t want to see him ever again.”

“But sweetheart, I do think he really cares for you…”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s only acting that way because he’s not… he’s not…”

He’s not Adam!

Her eyes widened at the thought, her cheeks flushing with color as she lay back on the bed and tried not to groan in disbelief. She couldn’t possibly be…

“He’s not what, sweetheart?” Dr. Reed prodded gently.

“I just don’t…love him anymore, dad,” she finally replied quietly. Her gaze drifted over her silhouette and towards the framed picture of herself and the students of class 2-A. Yes, she was certain now that she had no more feelings for Tony. She hadn’t even thought of him since her last conversation with Eden and that was several days ago.

All she could see now were those mocking blue eyes, that thick dark hair, those full kissable lips that she helplessly found herself imagining against hers these days…

She groaned again and closed her eyes.

“Is everything okay, sweetheart? I’m sorry if you two aren’t together anymore. I had no idea he hurt you that badly. I’ll tell him to stop calling if it bothers you so much.”

“Thanks, daddy. I really appreciate it.”

They talked for a few more minutes and when she finally hung up the phone, she felt a bit better about the rest of the evening. It wasn’t her Dad’s fault. It was just Tony being a nosey son-of-a-bitch. She guessed she could have broken up with him in a much more direct way so it would finally sink into his thick skull that things were really over between them.

With a sigh, she rose to her feet and walked towards the small balcony. She slid the glass door open a bit wider and stepped into the cool evening. The familiar smells of smoke and cooked dinners mingled with the fresh breeze, brushed against her skin. She rubbed her bare arms gently and stared into the lonesome city lights before and below her, wondering if she should wear a light sweater since the tank top was barely enough to keep her warm.

However, a loud bark from below caught her attention. She looked down to see what the fuss was all about, and was treated to a rather entertaining show of Mrs. Sawada chasing the resident dog (Kiki) around the building. She laughed softly to herself as Kiki gave a little leap and jumped over the low wall. Yes, there was definitely no shortage of entertainment around here and Aurora was glad it could take her mind off the more pressing and worrisome issues that plagued her.

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Adam turned to the next page of the novel he was reading and pushed the glasses on the bridge of his nose a bit higher. It was turning out to be a cool evening and after the rigors of the day, it was a welcome reprieve and a rather nice way to end it. He sat on the ledge of his balcony – a rather precarious perch but one he was used to after all this time. It gave him a good view of the city around him and he had a feeling that he would never tire of the sight for as long as he lived. He would miss this place when he had to move, but he knew it was for the best. He had to move on with his life and getting his childhood home ready was just one step to reaching that goal.

Unable to stop himself yet again, he lifted his gaze from the book to stare at the building across him. There was only a weak light in her apartment and he idly wondered if she didn’t have enough lamps. He had noticed that boy, Yunta, coming in and out of there the past few days and he hated to admit that the slight pang in his chest was jealousy. A part of him knew that he could have been the one in Yunta’s position – coming in to check on her daily or calling to find out if she was okay.

“It’s…it’s none of my business,” he muttered to himself as he rubbed a hand across his forehead and forced himself to focus on the story. “Let her do what she wants. It’s none of my business…”

But the words died on his lips as those sliding doors opened to reveal her slender silhouette against the light in her room. It looked like she was only wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts which in turn, sent a rush of heat flooding down his body in response. He tried to tear his gaze away, perhaps even hoping she’d finally look this way to notice him. But as in school, Aurora seemed to pay no attention to him and to his growing chagrin, he realized that it hurt like hell. He knew he had been out of line when he had said those words to her the other day and knew he should apologize, but whenever he thought he’d have the chance to do so, she’d make herself as scarce as possible or surround herself with other teachers.

She was clearly avoiding him and Adam wanted to tell himself that it was for the best. He was already in a rather compromising position with Akari and the last thing he needed was to find himself…

(falling in love)

…getting too attached to another woman. It wouldn’t do any of them any good. It was clear that they were from two different worlds and besides…

(she’s way out of my league)

He shook his head and closed his book. There was no use sitting out here trying to justify his reluctant attraction or feelings towards her. It was all going to be a complete and total waste of time. He dared to look in her direction again and almost fell off the ledge as he noticed her leaning over the balustrade and staring right back at him!

He froze, his heartbeat quickening in mild panic and yet faint hope. It wasn’t as if she could really see him. The distance between their apartment buildings was considerable enough and the only way she could know for sure was if she yelled out his name really, really loudly. But instead, they remained like that for a while, as if frozen in time, each staring at the other as if not sure they were seeing things or not.

It was still amazing that Aurora had no clue he lived this close to her – not that he could blame her. He usually made a quick pit stop at his parents’ home before coming back to the apartment so they never had the opportunity to see each other afterwards. But now…

She seemed to shrug and then turned away to go back into her room. She slid the door and curtains shut, effectively hiding herself from his view. However, he could still see her silhouette walking up and down in the room, and this went on for a few minutes until she turned off the lights completely.

Adam finally released the breath he had been unaware he was holding and got off the ledge. His legs felt stiff and there was a dull throbbing ache between his legs that needed to be relieved as soon as possible. Twenty long minutes later, he lay on his bed with his hands beneath his head, staring blindly at the ceiling in thought. Although he had the feeling that things might not work out in the end, he was determined to go through with the decision he had finally come to.

He only hoped he was going to do the right thing.