Catching Idle Butterflies

A Little Help from Above

Sitting in the pew I stared straight ahead, hardly hearing a word Pastor Kermit spoke. My heart fought against my stomach to see which could flutter and pound the most. My hands shook, and with each passing second, they got colder and slimier with sweat.

I closed my eyes and prayed, “Please God, by the time I get up there, make me calm. Above all, please don’t let me screw up.”

After Kermit highlighted specifics in the Sunday bulletin, he said, “Kevin will come up now and present certificates to all the graduates of the Disciple class.”

As Kevin went up to the front and described what Disciple is, I proceeded to pick my heart and stomach off the floor. He then asked the participants to come forward and be given our graduation pins and certificates.

Shaking increasing with each step, I managed to make it to the front of the church without stumbling.

Again, I heard little of what Kevin said, except when he called my name and gave me my certificate and pen.

I knew then beyond all doubt I have a healthy heart. It pounded hard, quick, but steady. No fluttering. My stomach took care off all that.

Kevin then asked, “Who wants to go first to say a few words about what Disciple meant to them?”

I said, “I’ll go first.” With shaky hands I took the microphone and began my prepared speech (the same one – with only a few minor changes – I had shared with you in "34 Weeks" ).

My nerves went psycho on me. My left hand shook so bad, I was glad I had a podium to place my written speech on. No way could I hold that steady!

Here’s where the surprises came in. Yes my left hand shook. Even my left knee began to quiver, but luckily not the one I had all my weight on. My right hand holding the microphone held steady, thank goodness.

I began speaking. I heard my voice coming through clearly through the speakers. As I spoke, I also listened, stunned. That was not the voice I would have expected. It was clear, unwavering except in the few more emotional parts of my speech. I also only stumbled three times on my words, but so minor, I doubt if many noticed. The congregation even chuckled at the appropriate places.

I then handed the microphone back to Kevin asking if anyone wanted to add something. They all shook their head and Kevin said, "Nope. You spoke for all of us."

God had answered the most important part of my prayer. I didn’t screw up. Plus, I felt the support of the rest of the Disciple class standing up there with me as I spoke, their spirits keeping me steady.

My only prayer now is that my words touched enough people they will want to participate in Disciple when it begins again in September. No one can take that class and not begin to understand God’s immeasurable patience, mercy and love for his children.

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On the home front:

My parents are all moved in and now getting settled in their new home. I’m relieved and thrilled they love how the house turned out. Even Tom was impressed. Mom is discovering, though, while the overall cost of living is much lower than Colorado, food is much higher. That’s one of the advantages of living in high population areas. Businesses can afford to charge less, because they earn their profits in the increased volume. Here, however, we have the advantages of small-town friendliness and lower crime rates. That’s one of the main reasons Mom wanted to move up here so badly.

I had to tease her though. She has money now from her step-father’s inheritance, which is how she could afford moving up here. As we were shopping at Walmart yesterday, she was also price checking, looking for the best deals. She balked at a rug costing $20!

“Now that I have money,” she said, “I’ve turned into a real miser.”

“That’s good,” I said. “Save away, because then I get more when you die.” Morbid, I know, but funny. Mom, thankfully, got the joke and laughed. One advantage to us being so alike, and having the same sense of humor, we don’t have to backtrack and say, “I’m only joking!”