Loving Someone

A Different Realization_5

Nervously, Meg went all over the school looking for Aria. She really needed her best friend at this critical moment. She no longer knew what was going through her mind.

However, even if she did find Aria, she wouldn't know how to explain to her. How could she just fall out of love after a four year crush? Furthermore, all this happened over very insignificant conversations with David. It's all David's fault, she self-righteously defended herself.

She had reasoned with herself all night. The reason all her doubts were acting up was because of uncertainty from Ryan's side. She knew that her love couldn't possibly be one sided. So long as she got Ryan to admit that he liked her as well, all would be well. Then, she could banish all thoughts on David. It's all silly anyway. But that still didn't explain her physical attraction to David. She shook her head furiously, she couldn't afford to go through all that now.

Now that she had decided to confront Ryan, she found herself lacking the courage. I really need Aria, she thought. With her as a sounding board, maybe she could vent off her nervousness and deal with Ryan properly.

When she saw Aria down the hall, walking quickly, she ran up to her and grabbed Aria by her arm. She turned Aria around, and said urgently, "I need to talk to you."

Silently, Aria nodded.

As they were walking outside to the student's area, Meg brood over how to explain all these to Aria. I just need the courage to go up to Ryan, Meg thought.

After they had settled down, Meg looked at Aria with imploring eyes, begging for understanding, "Have I ever told you how Ryan and I met?"

Aria quietly shook her head.

Thinking back to the fateful day, Meg smiled. Of course Ryan's right for her. It has been fated since that day. She had no reason to doubt it at all. "Strange, that I never mentioned this." She leaned her head back, eyes cast up to the sky, "It was the first day of school during freshmen. He was the first person I sat next to in my first class. I remembered it was Algebra. He introduced himself, I was so shy to being noticed by such a good looking guy, that I could do nothing but nod my head in greeting. He smiled, in that way of his, as if to reassure me. He said that that's not the way it should be, after he introduced himself, I was supposed to do the same, not just nod my head. He said it so kindly, that I dropped my reserve."

Meg turned her head to look back at Aria, "I was a very shy person back then. Afraid of even my own shadow." Thinking back on how timid she was never failed to amuse Meg. All the more reason for her to love Ryan.

Love or gratitude?

David's question suddenly popped into her mind. Determinedly, she pushed it away, and continued, "We shared a lot of the same classes. We even joined the drama society together. He said that by joining the society, I could learn to build my self-esteem, and it would also be fun. By the end of the day, the thing that changed me was not the society, but Ryan. He was the one who prompted me to take the first step out of my protective shell, the one who taught me to smile just because the sun is out. He told me that though in life we might have more foes than friends, we should not be bothered by them, instead learn to appreciate what little friends we have. In fact, he taught me a lot on gratitude, appreciate the people around us, he said, be thankful that you're still you no matter what the circumstances. In fact, Ryan was more of a teacher than a friend from the beginning."

Meg frowned. What is it with her? Was she trying to convince herself that it's right to love Ryan?

Suddenly, the image of David smiling appeared in her mind. Unconsciously, she blurted out her most secretive thought, "I fell in love the moment he first smiled at me."

Hearing her own words shocked Meg. Was that how she really feel about David?

No, she denied vehemently. It's Ryan she wanted.

With a new determination in her voice, she said, "I have been in love with Ryan for so long, there's no way he couldn't feel it. He must feel the same," the last line she added with a force.

"I won't let anyone destroy what we are supposed to have with each other," Meg said bitterly, and then she turned to Aria, her eyes hard, "not even..." She stopped. She couldn't continue. Not even myself, her conscience finished it for her.

Meg turned her head away, angry at herself. She took a couple of breaths, then said silently, "I'm sorry to have laid it out so strong. But I really need to let it all out." God knows what all this must sound like to Aria. Poor Aria, she had no idea what was going on at all. With an apologizing look at Aria, she said, "I hope you understand."

Aria nodded.

Meg frowned, Aria seemed a bit strange. But she couldn't worry about that now, she had a more urgent matter in her hands.

After heaving a huge sigh, Meg smiled brightly, "Good! Now that it's all clear, I need to go look for Ryan." With a wink, she added, "I'm going to confess my feelings to him."

Meg got off the bench and began to walk away from Aria. All she needed to do now was to look for Ryan. Her stomach plummeted at that thought.

"Meg! Wait!" Aria shouted.

Meg halted her steps and turned around, looking at Aria quizzically. She was acting very strange today.

Aria stuttered, "I... I know where Ryan will be." She paused, then said, "He's at the garden by the back gate right this moment."

What a friend. No matter how much she disliked Ryan, she was still willing to help Meg in getting her guy. This realization reaffirmed Meg's will to confess to Ryan. Meg grinned, "Thanks!" With that, Meg walked out of sight.

Aria stood there, a troubled look in her eyes.

***

The garden by the back gate. That's where Ryan would be.

Meg broke into a run at that thought. Very soon now, she would see him. Happiness filled her heart, expanding it.

When she reached the spot, she bowled over, bracing her hands on her thigh, the back of her legs straight. Her face was flushed and she was gasping for air.

Grinning, she looked up, and saw David. He was standing by a big tree, his eyes intense, looking at her.

She frowned, she couldn't believe her eyes. She need not look around to see that instead of the garden by the back gate, she had run to the big tree by the office building. Instead of Ryan, she had run to David.

She took two steps back, her eyes on his face. She could not accept the fact that she could so easily forget about someone she had been crushing on for four years.

Without another thought, she turned around, determined to go look for Ryan. Before she could take another step, David's voice halted her, "Ryan was not the first to notice you."

Bewilderment and confusion marred her features as she turned back to him. He was walking steadily towards her. Within a few steps from her, he stopped. "Have I ever told you about this girl I knew?" he asked her.

She remained quiet, not answering his question.

Softly, he said, "I had fallen in love with her since the first time I laid eyes on her. Others might have said she was really very plain and unnoticeable, but to me, she was like a shooting star, capturing my imagination ever since. Truly, how could anyone not notice a shooting star? It seemed like I was the only one who actually saw her."

He paused for a while, gauging her response. Meg was expressionless. Determined, he continued, "She must be new, for she looked so lost and uncertain. A lot of us were new on that day, but at least we have friends with us. She must be alone. She wore a pink baby T and denim skirt, hugging her books to her chest like a shield against vultures. I couldn't blame her, for just when she took a brave step forward, some fool knocked her off her feet."

Bitterness crept into his eyes, "I saw that as my chance, so I went forward and gathered up her books, then helped her up. However, without even a word of gratitude for my gallantry or a name, she ran off. Depriving me of the chance to know her first."

Gently, he tucked a stray tress of her golden hair behind an ear, "Your hair was not this long then, you had it pulled back in a ponytail."

Tears welled up in her eyes, "It was you, the one who helped me up, on the first day of freshmen."

Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around her, crushing her in his embrace. Softly, he whispered in her hair, "I saw you first."

Her tears stained his shirt as she sobbed on his shoulder. She buried her face in his neck, inhaling his warm comforting scent.

Smiling happily through her tears, she wrapped her arms around his waist.

-THE END-