Everyday details

between here and there

It is so strange. Most times I take a nap in the afternoon, weird feelings arise. It seems that at twilight, perception takes on a very strange road I dare not go. A feeling of melancholy fills my head, I know most people feel this way, but in my case it feels like there's a load of old hidden memories, secretly stored, and always fleeting my rational mind. For a moment I have the sensation I can recall them, but after I am fully awake they recede to the corner from where they spied. Most of the time I experience that as a word that is not fully “there”.
Nothing could illustrate my point of view better than an example:
Typical afternoon, I am tired for whatever reason, I lay down , and begin drifting into a “different” state of mind. After a couple minutes, or hours, I wake up and I can almost remember something, it makes me sad because whatever it is, I can't remember what it is, only the sensation associated with it, and then it is is gone. I feel so many of those gone memories, but don't get me wrong, they seem to be from some other life or something, I remember everything since I am a young kid. It sort of feels like I loved someone and now it's gone, forgotten
I feel there's more to this than meets the eye, but I can't quite get a hold of it. I guess, my dear reader, you would probably think I'm crazy or perhaps a “medium” of some sort, but for me, it feels as being alone in a cabin in the middle of a snow storm, sadly looking at the snow piling up on the trees, while at the same time being warmed by the wood burning in the fireplace. It is as if I am safely enclosed in my logic, fearing the world outside of it. It's sad.
I don't know why I write this, but I am sure I want to share it with you. Perhaps you feel the same.