Marv's Mind

Chest Transplant

I think I'm having a heart attack. I woke up with severe chest and back pain. I couldn't stand and could barely breath. It passed after about 12 minutes so I went ahead and came to work. While driving in, I could feel the pain starting to return. I tried the "mind over matter" thing and willed it to go away. So far the pain has subsided but now I'm dizzy and lightheaded...almost drunk feeling. I told the little man whose office is next to mine that he should have Zoo's number on speed dial incase I "pull a Marv" and fall and break something.

Mike (the little man who’s office is next to mine) suggested I call the doctor. I guess he doesn't want to be responsible for me if I split my head open or barf up my exploding heart. I can't imagine why! It could be a day of complete and total fun for him. Where's his sense of adventure?

This chest pain is the same fucking pain I had about a year and a half ago when doctors decided that my gall bladder was not functioning correctly. I had the damn thing removed so either that wasn’t the cause of my pain and they removed an organ for no damn reason OR they just cut me open and told me they removed it when in fact….they did NOT. What the fuck? I almost hate doctors.

Zoo thinks my chest pain is from stress. I must admit, other than last Thursday night, I’m feeling quite stress free these days. The last time I had the pain was when my fat little dog had a seizure and fell off the front porch the night before I left for Colorado. We thought he broke his leg. I was freaked out! FYI…he didn’t break his leg.

Maybe I should have my chest removed. Maybe my chest doesn’t work properly. Can people have a chest transplant? I got to check into that.



-Marv-