Starting Over...

No more bad news...Please

I'm so tired I can barely type this. The closer my vacation the more tired I get. Must mean I really need it.

Unfortunately, I get a call from my stepmother yesterday telling me that my grandmother has fallen down and is in the hospital. Bad news.

She then tells me that there are no visible signs of injury, but they're keeping her for a couple of days, just to be safe. Good news.

Then my sister calls me today to tell me that my grandmother has a swollen colon and an elevated white blood cell count, indicating infection. She says things aren't dire yet but the signed a DNR just in case. Bad news.

I just got off the phone with my stepmother, who tells me that Granny looks good and that her WBC are down from 30000 to 29000 since they started antibiotics this morning. I have no idea what this means exactly so can't say if that's really good news or bad.

"You and your sister shouldn't have to come down yet," my stepmother chirps, when I ask if I need to cancel the beach and meet up with them.

What does she mean by "yet"?

To make matters worse, I fell asleep at about 9'oclock last night and woke up around 7:30 in the morning, thus missing her 9:30pm and 7:00am calls. I probably come off as the uncaring granddaughter, but I have to admit that, since my grandmother has fallen 3 times in the past year and ended up in the hospital where they found either minor injuries or none at all, I have a hard time getting worked up about the news.

It really only reaffirms my frustration that my father won't put my grandmother in assisted living nearby where she can be monitored constantly. I realize that she doesn't want it, but she lives 2 hours away so it's hard for us to get to her quickly. With my two jobs and recent life changes, I can only get down there every 4-6 weeks and my sister hasn't seen her in months. That means minor falls mean hospital stays. Ridiculous. He's her power of attorney and ignores all suggestions that could possibly make this situation easier for everyone, my grandmother included. He's a selfish ass, but what else is new.

I just want to hide from that phone call that I have to leave the beach early to go to my grandmother's funeral. That would be just perfect.