Catching Idle Butterflies

Hiding . . . or not.

"But even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you." ~ Psalm 139:12

I love that verse, which is why I added to my introduction.

I thought of it again after reading Kåre เลียม Enga 's blog "A day of balance. What we remember." . Part of what he wrote hit home: Slowly, I am learning how to pour more from my cup on-line, less in my journal. I try hard not to merely share my spleen. Still, I feel safer commenting in your blogs than in mine. In my own blog I must own the pain somehow.

I've been keeping much of what I want to say, deeply personal things, out of my blog for the same reasons as Kåre เลียม Enga .

There is another, however. In the 10 months I've been writing my blog and reading yours, you've become my friends, and in some ways family.

It's easier to reveal are darkest secrets to complete strangers than it is to friends and family. With strangers, as commentors into Kåre เลียม Enga 's entry noted, we don't worry so much about opening ourselves up to strangers, because chances are we'll never see them again. If they judge us harshly, it's okay, because we haven't given our heart over to them to stomp on.

To God, however, both light and dark is the same to Him. Though we think we're hiding, we're not. He can see and hear everything. That is both frightening and comforting. Sometimes I would like to hide from Him. At the same time, Him knowing everything there is to know about me, yet still love me without reservation gives me constant hope.