Dis 'n Dat

Pardon my French

Yep, it's going to be a swearing entry. WARNING!!!

Well, my fucking in-laws are really dumber than I thought possible. Not only will they be moving to the same town as us (and less than a mile away), but they bought the house that needs the most work. SON OF A BITCH!!!

MIL is the most pretentious bitch I've ever met in my life. No shit. She is sooooooo about keeping up the the Jones'. God, it just drives me crazy. Instead of buying a nice modest house that is move-in ready, they went right for the oldest, most dilapidated piece of shit because that's what she wants. In theory this house could be gorgeous. The features that are nice are really, really nice. Woodwork, hardwood floors, fireplaces, etc. But structurally...that's another story. I'm no house inspector, but black mold creeping through the walls would have been my clue to stay away. But hey, that's just me. Seriously, if I see one hint of danger when we go over there, I will not hesitate to tell them that if they don't fix the problem, Trot and I will not come back until that place is up to code. I'm sure they could do without me...the bitch wife of their son. The loud-mouth. The only person in the family who is brave enough to tell everyone what she actually thinks. Fuck them. Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish heads. Maybe that's why that have so many problems. Always worried about the outside and never dealing with the ugliness they carry around everyday in their hearts. That whole family is nothing but a bunch of co-dependant snobs. And shit for brains. And donkeys. And fuck sticks. They are as usefull as a condom on a limp dick.

The thing that worries me the most is that hubby and I will be the hired hands for this place. 60+ years old is not old by any means. Don't get me wrong. But the thing is, is that they spent 26 years in their last house and it was still not decorated the way that old hussy wanted it to be done. I swear it was like walking into a Victorian museum. Everything was antique and breakable. Dark and unwelcoming. God knows this next house will be too. But do they really have another 26 years of hard labor in them???? That's where hubby and I come in to play I suppose. I guess I shouldn't worry about things that haven't even happened yet, but I just know that's what's on the horizon. "Umm...could you come over and help me with blah, blah, blah???" Forget the fact that we have our own house and lives to take care of. Yeah, fuck that notion. Not to mention what will happen if FIL has to go to prison for a while.

Their biggest concern??? Most of the houses they looked at didn't have a big enough yard for a BBQ. WTF!!!! Okay, we had like 3 cook-outs over there this summer and it was for 4 adults and a child. No, the reason they want a big yard is so she can fuck it all up with her ridiculous gardening and make this yard look like shit too. Have had it lady. Nothing like an overgrown jungle to make the neighbors happy you moved in town.

I'm done trying to understand this woman. Honestly, in my heart of hearts, I would love to have a fist fight with her. That's right, a good old fashioned brawl. Man, I just want to fucking knock her lights out. While I'm at it I wouldn't mind kicking FIL's ass too. That cocky SOB needs it. Trust me. Even though he is going through his legal problems I don't quite think he's been taken down enough notches. What I wouldn't give to kick that dude square in the balls. Diagnose that asshole!!!

Wow, I need therapy. Or sex. Whatever.