Marv's Mind

Who The HELL Am I?

My brain is fried! I can't think anymore. I think I'm drooling!

I've been searching for my birth mother online. What a fucking pain in the ass! Is she dead? Is she alive? Can't somebody find her for me? There are so many websites with different shit to read. My eyes are crossed!!dessorc I just recently found my birth announcement and obtained her name. Apparently she's not famous or she'd be a hell of a lot easier to find. When I think I find something.....wham! Dead end!

What the hell will happen when/if I do find her? She was about 15 years old when she had me. Her family had sent her away to live in a home for pregnant teens planning to give their babies up for adoption. Was her family embarrassed? She could be married with now a family that doesn't know anything about me. I'm gonna rock their world. Stir it up a bit. Things are fittin' to change. In a big way.

What if she wants nothing to do with me? I'm fine with that. I really don't even want a relationship with her. I'm not looking for a new mom or new family. I'm not looking for more family. The only reason I want contact is for her medical history. I need it. I also need to know my biological father's name and get his info too.

What if she's dead? I'll be pissed. I'm spent many hours on this computer banging away trying to find this bitch. My shoulder area is cramped right now from 2 hrs of "nothing". Quite disappointing.

What if I find her/them and she/they want a relationship with me? I didn't really think about this til my friend mentioned it. Uhhh. No thanks. Isn't it my decision? Won't I be in control of this whole thing?

Maybe I'll chicken out and let it be.......

Nah!


-Marv-