L'aura del Campo

Sacrificial Lamb? Writing scenes! Tutoring.

3 cinquains. An anniversary of a bad event. Are you a sacrifiical lamb? Do you talk to your family/friends/co-workers or remain silent? How a cheerful friend can help. Tutoring Spanish and Linguistics.

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███████          L'aura del campo           ███████

AUTUMN: 8 Mashiyyat (4 October)

'é a lua,  é a lua,  na quintana dos mortos'
♣    Federico García Lorca    ♣

Warm? Think cool !
Weather where I am: 72º at 2 a.m.
Weather where Gary is: 54º at 3 a.m.
Weather in Hell: 6ºC (~42º) on a Norwegian morning.

██████ MY THOUGHTS

It's been 4 years since I was faced with a scenario from hell. I'd waited 6 weeks not knowing whether my head would be handed to me on a platter. Fortunately, my friend Gary made comments that fateful morning that got me through a difficult time. However, I was told by my workplace that I was not allowed to speak about the incident. Now I wish I would've screamed from the mountain tops. I may have lost my job earlier but I would've had my say.

By October 15th, I'd had it with everyone and wrote this poem: "Sacrificial Lamb" . Although it didn't mention the crap I was going through by name, it created quite a stir. Some of my co-workers were impressed. I even got two apologies. Gary thought it would cause trouble. It unnerved my bosses and they even contacted other folks downtown. No word to me of course.

By March I no longer had a job due to that and other issues I still don't talk about. Oddly, I lost my job the day I was in Okmulgee, Oklahoma on what would've been my father's birthday. I remember calling Gary that morning from the house on South Lake Street where my dad was raised!

So Gary is wrapped up in alot of memories of an emotional time in my life.

I called him yesterday morning. He's like a ray of sunshine. Replace a bad memory with a good one, I figure.

I didn't mention the past (someday I'd like to talk to him about it). I did tell him that I was nervous about tutoring this week. He suggested no coffee . Next week I get to wish him a Happy Birthday.

So ... how do you react when accusations have been placed on your doorstep. At what point do you say something. When do you keep silent.

These are not questions you can answer. (Oh, you think you can, but you can't!) When you are in the situation, you will do what you do. Even then you may still wonder whether you chose right.

On that day, pray you have a friend like Gary who can cheer you up.

██████ POETRY?

Okay ... I don't cut myself, but respond to the images if you will. The form is American cinquain. I think the three actually go together and could be made into one poem.

Cutting in the bathtub

What joy!
This water's warm.
Tense muscles now relax.
Thoughts mellow as they join the stream
of red. [163.378a]

Cutting in the bathtub 2

What drains
when the plug's pulled:
a bit of old flaked sin,
dirt from the Garden of Eden,
snakeskin. [163.379b]

Cutting in the bathtub 3

Thoughts fade
like white on white
cracked lines on bathroom tiles.
Dead eyes erode a sense of faith,
of snow. [163.378b; revised 10/5]

██████ BLOGVILLE

Haven't been doing as much reading the last two days. Have people been busier than normal or does it only seem that way to me?

Recently David McClain reached 500 entries and started a new one. Nada has reached it too! AL is also at the point of a decision.

I have a long time left to worry about that. I plan to make copies of old entries and then delete. I was barely read for the first few months and they are of more interest to me than to anyone else. I'll try to save the comments, but there weren't many!

██████ IMAGES

Eric in front of Aimée's:

Sandals up on the wire chairs; B. F. Skinner's book "Two Waldens"; matches, a pack of Camel cigarettes, an ashtray; a big white cup holding down papers on the round glass table; a mottled reflection of the red and blue neon <OPEN> sign; Eric's string necklace holding a dolphin against his hairy chest; writing with his right hand; his bag rests below.

██████ WRITING

Monday night class always astounds me. We had to work on revealing our character through dialogue, description, etc. Since I have six, you'd think that I would've chosen the easy one! But no no no I choose the least active one of all: Ake, who just happens to be a mountain . However, by chosing the hardest one, I managed to really make it come alive.

By the end of this series of classes, I hope to have a few scenes that start telling a story to read to everyone. Not quite writing poetry. It is something new to me. I'll need to thank Richard Hagerman.

██████ READING

Slowly getting through Viginia Woolf's 'The Waves'. It is an interesting six-part first person dream-like narrative. I have never read anything quite like it.

Also crawling through 'The road from Hiroshima', a narrative poem by Mark Kaminsky. An admirable project that I think's a winner.

I just can't focus and sit and read. If I relax I fall asleep.

██████ MY LIFE

Still struggling to stay awake and accomplish something every day. Today I picked some tomatoes, but the season is over and not so much is ripening now. Picked one okra ... and a few long red peppers. The ground is too hard to pull the last of the carrots, but as soon as it rains.

Monday and Tuesday evenings were class and critique. Sunday and Monday weren't anything to write about.

Tuesday I started to tutor some students in Spanish. I'm a bit overwhelmed by this. I started with Nick and Nichole.

Nick may have been placed a bit above where he should've been. He's a freshman who wants to major in Business, so I can see how a second language (or three or four) would help. The Business Department has a campus in Italy.

Nichole needs the course to finish a requirement for graduation. She is a History major thinking about Law School. What she really needs help with is Linguistics. And that is something I'm really qualified for!