Starting Over...

Discovery Day Redux

I guess I was just "in the moment" for my last entry because I can't remember what I wrote.

First off, I ran into a former boss (the one I whined about in "Overexposed" and the first entry of this blog) and we tied up some loose ends. A couple of months ago, right before I was to start at my current job, I ran into this man in the hall. He told me that my current boss was unsure about hiring me and had called him for a reference. Given our completely dysfunctional working relationship, I had not listed him as a reference, but I did have to list him in my employment history. Needless to say I felt betrayed by my current boss. Worse yet I wasn't able to here what my former boss had told her because I was in a rush to get somewhere.

Here's how it went:

"So where are you working now?" asks former boss.

"How did you know I was changing jobs?" I reply, bewildered because I hadn't told anyone outside of my "circle" about the change.

"She wasn't sure about hiring you so she called me to ask about you. Oh, wait, are you in a hurry? We can talk later."

I know it was silly to be upset about it because I still got the job offer. I just hated the idea of this man taking credit for getting me a job. I hoped he was at least honest about me. More than a month later ("discovery day") I finally ran into him and got the rest of the story.

"I told her that you were great when you were focused, but that she should not put you on more than one project at a time. I know how much you like to be nice and help, but you've got to look out for yourself. If you don't get your job done then only you will take the blame for it." he said sternly.

This was sort of an eye-opener, I guess. I had actually offered to help with other projects in my current lab, but she emphatically told me, "no". Now I know why. I guess the hardest thing was admitting that I'm not the bestest tech in the world. Some techs are practically superhuman (my current lab manager being a perfect example), but I'm not one of them. I have to make peace with that and start putting my energy into other things, lest I burn out. I guess it seems obvious, but when you're there you just don't see that you are destroying yourself.

That day, I decided to break that cycle.

That isn't all of the entry (told you it was a long one), but I've got to get back to work for now.