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Female Influences

I was born into the world at Greenbank Maternity Hospital in Darlington, Co. Durham on New Years Eve just after tea time. I was no doubt a very much loved baby and all my needs were met. My father did not attend my birth; he was already celebrating my arrival in his local Working Man’s Club. As a small child I guessed he must have lived there as that was where all his time was spent.

After leaving the warm comfort of the plastic cot beside my mother’s hospital bed I arrived into my new home which consisted of my mother, my Grandfather my Grandmother and my Two Aunties.
They say they were the ones who would feed me in the middle of the night as my mother would sleep through without waking. But I know my Mother did the very best she could to provide to my every needs. I was a loved baby of that there is no doubt.

My Mother was one of five sisters although I will only ever know four of them.
The Auntie I will never know remained a great secret in our family, it seemed a Taboo subject that no-one ever talked about. It was my Mother who first unlocked the secret to me. From what I know she was born a normal child but contracted a disease that made her mind go a little crazy. From then the house was subjected to wild tantrums. My poor Grandmother could no longer cope and she was sent away into a Care Home. I found it hard to understand why no-one ever visited her but the family say she would not have known who we were.

There was the eldest Elaine who by the time I was born had already flown the nest and had had two sons of her own, Craig and Darren. She was married young and stayed with the same man throughout the troublesome years until eight years ago he decided to end the relationship as he had found someone new. To be honest looking at the person she is now I would say he did her a great favour by leaving her. This caused great heartache and sadness to the whole of the family at this time; it showed clearly just how close the family was. Everyone rallied around to offer support and assistance. I personally would have liked to have ripped the women in questions throat out for causing such pain to my Aunt, but I was expecting my first daughter at the time so contained the anger inside. She looked after me as a child and I remember falling badly from a friend’s bike while in her care, she raced to scrape me up from the pavement and I remember lying on her couch as she tended to the cuts and bruises.
I spent endless time being put into goal for Craig and Darren to pelt the football at me; they were Football mad and still are. Craig was the eldest and he is now a Father to Rosie and Katie, twins not identical but the spitting image of each other and of himself. His partner Julie is a loving friend and was my Maid Of Honour.
Elaine worked long hours tending to the elderly at Richardson Hospital, the same place my Grandmother cleaned. I am sure she would have had other jobs but this is all I remember her doing. She later went on to University to study Nursing and she now a Qualified Nurse. I admire this lady greatly; she is a loving and devoted Mother and now Grandmother herself to beautiful twin girls. She has been to hell and back, yet still she holds her head high and has achieved more than what she even believes herself, certainly women to look up too.

Then there was Lesley, the smallest of the sisters. She was the only one to move away from our small home town and stay away. She didn’t move far away, easily in reaching distance but once again met her partner young and to this day despite any troubles they may have encountered are still together. She had two daughters of her own Kayleigh and Jodie. She too helped out looking after my Brother and I while my Mother worked. We would stay over at her house and I remember loving being at her home. She always made you feel welcome and always provided us with many activities to do. Whether this be playing tea parties or making a mess with glitter and glue, she always went out of her way to welcome us. To this day the kettle is on the minute you walk through the door. She has been a Child Minder for as many years as I can remember and this career suits her remarkably. A well opinionated, yet fair lady who will go to the end of the universe and back to help you out. I would say this lady is remarkable , certainly the strongest boned yet possesses a heart of pure gold.


The baby of the Family was Andrea. She was the one who I was ferociously envious of. In my pre and young teenage years I wanted to be just like her. She was perfect in my mind. She married and moved away but then she came back home to live with my Grandparents. I do not know the details so can only assume from listening to others talk, but the man she married abused her and treat her badly. Thankfully she left him. I was a Bridesmaid at her wedding and I was a like a little lost puppy who would follow her around whenever I got the chance.
I have to admit I detested the thought of her moving back into my Grandparents house as I had become the substitute and loved all the attention. But having her there also gave me a room full of expensive clothing and basket full’s of make-up, every girl’s dream. She worked hard and possessed the most beautiful items you could ever imagine. I at the time would never have thought her unhappy; she had it all in my eyes.
I would sneak into her bedroom after she had left for work and spend a full hour getting ready for school. If only she knew how many times I applied then rubbed off and reapplied her lipstick I am sure she would go mad.
She had the most stunning set of curls in history and she gave me the privilege of blow-drying it all, for her evenings out on the town. I was honoured and she got a free hairdresser. I went on to qualify as a Hairdresser when I left school, I wonder if it was her curls that made me follow that direction.
She went onto remarry and has two sons of her own. I know she has, as have we all ups and downs in her life, but I still deem her perfect and still do.