Dreamland

Fear of Flying

It's a beautiful day; the sun is shining, small white cottony clouds dotting a pale blue sky. It's a perfect day for flying...

I've flown on a number of occasions in Dreamland, most often by simply stretching my arms in front of me and diving up into the sky. Usually I start out quite slowly, and it takes some effort of concentration to build up enough speed to get past the first five or ten feet above ground. But once I get in the groove I can usually soar quite high; and once I get enough forward momentum and altitude built up I can dive down to accelerate and pull up, swooping high into the sky...

On this day, I find myself walking towards the edge of a high cliff. I realize I'm quite high up. I can see the farms and fields below are at least a mile down. There is a young couple ahead of me approaching the edge. They jump off, dive down, and swoop back up, flying effortlessly. "Come on! It's great!" they call out to me.

Although most other times I've taken off from level ground, I do remember one other time flying in Dreamland when I did start out by jumping. It was quite exhilarating, soaring over a valley similar to this. But today, I feel tense; I get shaky as I approach the edge of the cliff. I find I cannot stand up; vertigo is causing me to lose my balance.

An intense fear of falling starts to take hold of me. Crouching low to the ground I force myself onward, inching towards the edge. When I reach it I realize that the longer I wait, the more the fear can take control of me. To prevent this I spring forward, arms outstretched, and leap over the edge…

But I’m not soaring, I’m plummeting straight down! I realize my mistake too late, being in the wrong frame of mind (fear); I am unable to concentrate on flying. I have no forward momentum; I realize there is no way I will be able to pull out of this fall. The other flyers swoop down past me to see what is happening, and I can see by the looks on their faces that they know I am doomed. I curl myself into a ball, falling faster and faster. I cry out before I hit the ground: “AAAAHHHH!!!” And then I wake up…

It’s 3:40 AM…. I lie awake as the adrenaline washes from my bloodstream… With any luck I can fall back asleep for an hour or so before I have to get up for work…