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IF YOU DECIDE TO QUIT SMOKING...

Before I pulled the first smoke out of a hard pack of Reds (the worst kind), I reached under the plastic film to grab an orange folded booklet that had caught my attention. It looks like a cover of a miniature book, and in bold white letters atop the orange it says, “IF YOU DECIDE TO QUIT SMOKING…” On the upper-right corner there’s an arrow that points to the right, inviting me in to read the four-fold packet. I was sold. The cancer stick could wait. I decided to quit smoking about three or four years ago.

“The more you know about how to quit, the better your chances for success.
Quitting smoking is a very personal experience. There’s no one way that works for everyone. QuitAssist™ is an information resource that provides easy access to expert information from public health authorities and others to help you find your own path to success. Online at philipmorrisusa.com or call 1-888-784-7848.”

I quickly closed the booklet from Phillip Morris USA and read the cover again. “IF YOU DECIDE TO QUIT SMOKING…” I wasn’t so much insulted by the words on the cover, it was the ellipses that raised my blood pressure. It was indeed those three dots that had temporarily caused my shortness of breath. It was like they were smirking at me, daring me to open the booklet and read the message. And when I looked up QuitAssist™ on the internet, the ellipses were still fresh in my mind, giggling at my searching for information on how to quit.

After scanning the website for a few minutes, and surprisingly finding a careful, well thought out quitting plan, I looked inside the packet again and read the sentence, “Quitting smoking is a very personal experience.” Phillip Morris USA is honest, I'll give them that, and there’s no question that they can be personal. Maybe they felt that their integrity was threatened because of lying in court, saying their tobacco products are not addictive. Or maybe they were court ordered to provide information on how to quit with each pack sold. Either way, I don’t care. All I know is that I will quit when I’m damn well ready. The last thing I need are three mocking dots and a understandable, clearly legitimate quitting plan provided by the supplier themselves.

After I closed the website window, I stepped outside to the porch with a cup of black coffee in hand while the first cigarette from a fresh pack of Reds dangled from the corner of my mouth (Not really, I'm just trying to seem cool). I puffed and drank my stimulants while rocking in a chair, thinking about how I was going to write this blog.