The Dharma Force

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, my friends!
I wish you well, wherever you are!
I wish you healthy, physically and mentally!
I wish you happiness, which you can find if you look hard enough, ... or have a very strong cough medicine.
I wish you the best of the luck, but please remember me, if you ever win the lottery, or the power ball, or the monthly bingo game.
Don't need to send me anything, remember me is all I ask for.
I wish you to have a good meal every evening, and something/somebody warm to curl up to every night.
Now, if it is a electric blanket, please make sure the wires are away from any water source.
I wish you to have at least one of your wishes fulfilled during the new year.
One is plenty, if you have all of your wishes fulfilled, what are you going to do with the rest of your life after this year?
I wish you to break one of you addictions or obsessions during the new year.
We all have them. All of us, and if you are reading my blog, chances are you are addicted to the Internet.
Well ... we can leave that one to the last, shall we? After all, if we don't have obsessions, we will become very very dull people.
I wish you to grow in the new year. It does not have to be maturity. It can be something physical. I don't know. Grow taller, maybe? Grow stronger? Grow sunnier? Grow some hair is also a good choice, especially for middle-aged men, like me. As long as it is not nose hair. Don't you just hate ...
Sorry, a tad bit on the too much information side.
I wish you all to have good BM in the new year. Eat more prunes! That helps a lot. Nice, dried prunes coated with honey. That will help you to regulate your .... system.
For all of you know exactly what I am talking about, please give me a smile, , nothing is more blessed than a regular time on the throne.
For all the rest of you either did not have a clue, or find my wish to be too earthy, then, I envy you! You lucky lucky people!
Just wait until you are older, and you will give me that smile sooner or later!
I am not going to wish for world peace tonight. It is not going to happen. For as long as men on earth, that had never happened. And from now until the day we go extinct, that will never happen.
So I am saving that wish for something more down to earth.

Hum... I seemed to get myself distracted. Let's see where are we?
OH yes! Wishes!
I wish you to have a good new year!
Happy 1997!
This is going to be a good year for me personally!
My wife is going to come here from China, finally!
I am going to take some time off, and we are going to visit San Fransisco! And ... and ... Huh ...
Now, why did that sound so familiar?
Wow! This is like a Matrix moment there.
Let me think ....
Something is not right here ... Why is the TV showing 2007 after the ball has dropped?

You mean, it is not 1997, and it is 2007?
Oh man! I need to change all my wishes now!
Well, let's see ...
I wish I can sleep in tomorrow, and none of the kids will charge in at exactly 6am.
I wish I don't have to watch "SpongeBob Squarepants" for the 19999999999999th times with the kids!
I wish the school does not two weeks of winter break. (We are going to be on week two tomorrow, and ...)
I wish for good ear muffs/plugs, and cleaning maid service phone number.
I wish the kids will all grow up over the night, and move out, and I am all retired with lots of money and time to do whatever the heck I want to!

OK, now I am just fantasizing now.
Need to change the direction of this blog is going.
I kind of wish they did not have to hang Saddam. I mean, the man is just getting to be funny after his capture.
For a dude that got hauled out of the hole like a groundhog, he sure could jump during all those court proceedings. And then, Poof! He was dead. No scenes, no struggle, no .... nothing!
Come on! Let's bring him back alive, and try it again.
How can they do it to us! The guy had not even told us where he hid all of his Weapons of Mass Destruction yet!
Now, it will be up to our beloved President Bush and his elite crack team of ... oh wait ...
Let's see Powell's gone, Rumsfield's gone. Who's left?
It will be up to our beloved President Bush and vice Presidenct Cheney to go into the desert to find them personally.
Word of advise for Bush, stay behind Cheney. It is in the American Hunter's Manual now. Look it up, it is on page 167.
And poor poor Donald Duck, I mean, Rumsfield, got sacked after the election.
Reader's Digest did a profile on him years back. I remember one thing it said was that Rumsfield is a very smart man. The proof is that he can read very fast. He read about 5 books a week.
You know the thing that kind of stuck with me was that I don't care how smart he is, if he reads that fast, can he really grasp what exactly he was reading?

This is getting too depressing. Now, where did I put my cough medicine?