Catching Idle Butterflies

Walk With Me

I just had an accidental epiphany. I say accidental, because it came after writing something in a message board. Anything wise or thoughtful that comes from my fingers is accidental, because I don't consider myself either. I'm shallow and silly [slightly kidding there, so no need to argue ].

The subject was "the quiet voice" of God. Sometimes we think we hear it, and it ends up not. Other times, we heed the voice, and something happens making us question what we heard. In the end though, we find it was God's voice after all.

In my case (copied from my publication journal, "Ah, the pitfalls of seeking publication." ):

After doing much research I thought I found the perfect agent for my book and bookmarked him, both in my "Christian Writers' Market Guide" and his website.

I then saved up my money to attend the Christian Writer's Guild "Writing for the Soul" conference. There I met with three agents to plug my book. Only one seemed genuinely interested, but she said they take agented submissions only.

She, along with the other two recommended only one agent to me. I figured it was a sign from God, because all three recommended the one agent I already bookmarked.

So after much more editing and putting together my proposal, I sent it off. Again, I figured I was a lock in getting accepted.

My SASE came in the mail. I knew by how thin it was it contained only one sheet of paper.

I only saw one word when I opened it up: "Unfortunately . . ."

After that, all the other words flowed into the center of the page and morphed into one single word, "REJECTED!"

Teary-eyed, I had my husband read it.

"This is actually a really good letter," he said, "But I know you don't see it."

I burst into tears and he hugged me.

"It just hurts to know I'm not ready yet." I sobbed.

Two weeks later, I read the letter again, this time with a less emotional eye.

What a great letter! The agent liked my premise and said, "You have a really good story concept," but (I hate that word as much as 'unfortunately' and 'sorry') "we feel that the writing just doesn't measure up to what is on the market today."

It didn't end there. He pointed out two examples in my manuscript that didn't meet his standard of excellence (I should have expected this since he was an editor for 15 years prior to becoming an agent). He then went on to recommend the book, "Self Editing for Fiction Writers" by Browne and King.

I purchased the book and read it in four days. Afterwards, did I know what the agent meant. My writing indeed . . . sucked! I was actually embarrassed for sending it out when I did.

But the whole experience was the best thing that could have happened. The first thing I did was delete the first three pages of my manuscript and continued on through to the end. I cut out so much superfluous material, I had enough room to add three more scenes, and still ended up 4000 words fewer than when I started.

After telling a much abridged version of the story, I added at the end, "Though my dream hasn't wavered, I'm learning to enjoy the journey of writing, and having God walk beside me with every step."

I realized then how much writing is a journey, and one I now wouldn't trade even for publication. A few times I re-read some of my earlier writings, and boy do they suck! The nice thing about this journey so far is I now know it. I can see how much I've grown as a writer, but also in my relationship with God. He speaks to me through words, sometimes even my own. If my book had been published when I wanted, I would have missed this journey, and this growth.

Do I think my books will be published someday? Absolutely. Right now I'm content to walk, not run towards that dream.

And another thing! This is my 400th entry! Wow, I never dreamed I would have something to say 400 times. Will I be able to write 100 more before this little blog closes down to start a new one?

Walk with me and let's find out together, shall we?