Catching Idle Butterflies

Here am I. Send me.

In last week’s Disciple lesson, boy did I learn a lot:

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.
Before you were born I set you apart
and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” ~ Jeremiah 1:5

I don’t claim to be one God has set apart as a “prophet to the nations” but I do think God knew me before he formed me in my mother’s womb. I also believe he knew you, and everyone else born and yet to be born. It shows that God not only created us, but delights in us.

I love watching parents with their children, especially when they’re little. The parent delights in watching their child grow, bragging to everyone who’ll listen, “Guess what my child did today!” To me, that shows an important trait of God. We are his children, and he takes immeasurable joy in watching us grow. If he didn’t love us as much as a parent loves a child, why then would he take the time to know us even before we are born?

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” ~ Isaiah 6:8

Isaiah was one of the few prophets who didn’t give excuses as to why he couldn’t serve God. Among other excuses, Moses complained about his inability to speak well. Jeremiah demurred because he was too young. Ezekiel also argued against God’s calling, in the end going, but in bitterness and turmoil (Ezekiel 3:14).

In each instance God said he would be with them and give each of them the words and the power to succeed in doing his will. Another passage stood out to me:

But the people of Israel won’t listen to you any more than they listen to me! For the whole lot of them are hard-hearted and stubborn. But look, I have made you as obstinate and hard-hearted as they are. I have made your forehead as hard as the hardest rock! So don’t be afraid of them or fear their angry looks, even though they are rebels.” ~ Ezekiel 3:7-9

God never calls us to battle unarmed; he gives us everything we need so we stand before our enemy on equal ground. He never places us at a disadvantage to whatever task we find before us.

It’s a matter of trust. That’s all God asks of us: to be willing, and to trust he will give us whatever we need whenever we need it in order to accomplish his will.

It sounds so simple, but oh, so hard to do. I’ve complained like all the prophets saying I don’t have the talent, I’m too young, too old, too stupid, too lazy, too busy, my does the list go on!

I am much like Ezekiel in being bitter and in turmoil at God’s want of me, but because God’s hold on me is too strong, I move ahead anyway (also in Ezekiel 3:14).

Why I still do this can be chalked up to fear, of not wanting change, and not trusting God enough (that’s the big one). In every instance, I look back at the end and discover God was right all along. He never gave me a single reason not to give him my total trust and dedication.

Will that change someday? Will I say, “Here am I. Send me!” the next time I hear God’s call? I hope so, but I also tend to be obstinate and hard-hearted.

And yet, in spite of all my faults and challenges, my constant arguing and excuses, he delights in me.

He also believes in me, so I have no excuse not to believe in myself.