Grey (((( UNEDITED))))

Fog

It never ceases to amuse me, how much easier it is to stay nuerotic, upon the self-realization of your nuerosis.

So many things are on my mind right now. It's making me paranoid in everything else.....

I was supposesd to go and finalize the paperwork for the divorce last week. When I woke up next to the man I am now in love with, the one who doesn't leave me bruised and broken, I knew from the second my eyelashes parted to take in the dim light of the room, that the day was not going to go well for me.

Started the day off right by getting a speeding ticket.

GO ME!

Then I get there, and low and behold I was not even a needed body.

Due to the swapping of a lousy letter and the misplacement of a miniscule comma, my divorce is delayed for yet another month.

HOO-RAY.

Proceed to leave the lawyers office (who I must again visit with tomorrow), take a wrong turn and go a mile and a half in the opposite direction from my place of work.

YAY!!

Get in to work, completely oblivious to the fact that I have forgotten to remove the metal from my face, all 5 peices, and my boss proceeds to request I come back to her office to speak with her, at which point I raise my hand to my forehead and bump my eyebrow ring.... OH. Shit.

I remove the metal, then go back to her office, with every intention to apologize, and not sass back, but as soon as I enter the room she is yelling at me about how two other empolyees came to her wanting to know what made me special, and why I could wear my body jewelry and they could not (Nevermind the fact that one of the two wears her labret stud anyway) and all at once it occurs to me that this whole stupid mess could have been avoided, had a single one of them been nice enough to tell me that I forgot to remove my jewelry, and how incredibly frustrated I am and I go " I am really sorry..." Oh how lovely, I am going to cry, but I'll be damned if it's going to happen in front of her "Iamjusthavingareallybadday. Ipromiseitwon'thappenagain"

And I manage to have enough strength to walk out of the office and the thirty feet of remaining hallway, open the door, shut the door, lean against the wall and sink to the floor before my tear ducts give up.

I haven't cried at work since I was sixteen. I have since morphed into the kind of woman who makes a grown man cry, when I pay him a compliment, and here I am on the floor in the bathroom at Micheal's, reliveing being sixteen.

It occurs to me that I was with him, and we were working together then. The ex, the one who I just wish didn't exsist.

God damn it. I am a grown woman.

I take a deep breath, stand up and have a look in the mirror to see the damage. As I am looking into my now ridiculously light-sensitive impossibly green eyes, (My eyes are hazel, but when they shift green I am photosensitive), It occurs to me the my contacts should not be neatly trapping pus against my iris's. Great. My eyes are probably getting infected.

I am 5 for nothing. Playing a real winning game here.

Flash forward a few days, more misery, To today.

My Mr. took off his claddaugh. Left it on the bed.

He never takes that ring off. He wears it like a wedding band.
*Sigh*

Did I mention I am paranoid and neurotic?