My attempt to Journal in public- I may get shy or not. Let's see. |
I am glad I have made the turn for another year. You would think that January 1st of a new year might be a great time to make a committment to write every day. I do. And this is turning into one more of those resolutions, you know the kind, the "road not taken" variety. Part of my problem... yes I get to blame this one on anything I want... was my room set up- or rather not set up. My space doubled as a "guest" room. Which we thought might be a once in a few months kind of thing. For the past couple of years, the "guest" room has been mostly vacant. I thought it was a good way to have a space and share it, too. Then December happened. We had guests and housemates from all over just about constantly. My nice private corner, became sleep over headquarters for some very interesting people. And, still is. I hope what I have done today is going to make things better. At my wife's urging, I moved my writing desk and computer out into a nook in the upstairs mezzanine. It is kind of a cozy cubi- kind of space. I have a window to look out- for some reason open sky and trees help calm the restlessness of trying to write for me. Not that writing seems to be all that high on my agenda lately. Funny, I am beginning to observe that my notion of what Maslow was getting at might just apply in many aspects of art and creativity. What I am refering to is the need hierarchy he observed. People have to feel secure, bonded, fed, and settled before creative urges can find the light of day (or the lamplight of night). For the past three or four months, secure, settled and bonded have been not on the list. Oh, the partner and now wife is bonded- the rest of my life was out of whack. At work, the larger fish was digesting the merger. My job was changing rapidly and quite frankly, I am still not so sure the will keep me. Although, January 1st, that is more likely. That was the statute of limitations on the severance agreement (in other words, any lay offs before January had a severance package attached- after that it was all new territory). I am still there and on the schedule- so that fear settled more into place. The steady stream of house guests has kept the feeling bonded kind of in upheaval. New folks and their "brain buzz" keep me off balance. The brain buzz is especially intense when the other folks are going through the "high drama" of breaking up with someone over the Christmas Holidays. Looks like time is up for now.... later. |