\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
    November     ►
SMTWTFS
     
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
Archive RSS
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/484538-Trapped
Item Icon
Rated: XGC · Book · Experience · #1034564
A new journal for a new beginning
#484538 added January 30, 2007 at 7:25pm
Restrictions: None
Trapped
I hate days like today. Nobody's really responsible for my feeling this way but me. In short, I hate my job. Moreover, I've decided I hate research in general, but I've never done anything else.

What else could I do? What am I good at? I'm young with no strings on me. Why am I trapped in a profession I hate? One that's been so cruel to me. Because I don't know what else to do. My boss seems to like me well enough. She's even dropped hints that she'd like to have me on long term (i.e. sending me to a 2-day software training class so I can be the "lab expert" in such matters). But I feel like I have to bust my tail constantly just to keep par.

Granted I've only been here for 6 months I've learned so much and my skills are improving by the day. If not for this one torturous never-ending project I might feel good about the situation. I don't know. I'm so used to being judged by my failures and blamed for everything that goes wrong that I repeatedly work myself into a tizzy over what is one of many responsibilities I have. It is, of course, the responsibility that has taken up the bulk of my days since mid-December. I've worked so hard, but am not the slightest bit confident in my approach/technique/results. This has the potential to blow up.

I guess I'm stuck here for another two years at least. The grant runs out in Feb 2009, but the lab is well-established so there will likely be another one waiting in the wings. I need to find out what I can do so I can escape this profession.

Say a prayer for me that I'll make it through this project. Maybe I won't feel so despairing then.

© Copyright 2007 Artemismad Scientist (UN: artemismad at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Artemismad Scientist has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/484538-Trapped