Who Am I?

Where things get deep

Feb 7, 2007

Ok, you can blame my pastor for this one!  LOL.  He gave a sermon this Sunday and one things he said stuck with me and I've been trying to figure out what I need to apply it to in my life...so bare with me and follow along and if you have any ideas or thoughts on the subject I would LOVE to hear them. 

In Chapter 12 of Exodus we are told (NIV)
37 The Israelites journeyed from Rameses to Succoth. There were about six hundred thousand men on foot, besides women and children. 38 Many other people went up with them, as well as large droves of livestock, both flocks and herds. 39 With the dough they had brought from Egypt, they baked cakes of unleavened bread. The dough was without yeast because they had been driven out of Egypt and did not have time to prepare food for themselves. 40 Now the length of time the Israelite people lived in Egypt was 430 years. 41 At the end of the 430 years, to the very day, all the Lord's divisions left Egypt. 42 Because the Lord kept vigil that night to bring them out of Egypt, on this night all the Israelites are to keep vigil to honor the Lord for the generations to come.

Ok, think about this for a sec...and you might see where I'm headed in a minute..lol...

The Isrealites were in slavery for most of that 430 years if not all of it.  I'm not sure if that starts from when Joseph brought his family into Egypt to save them from starvation or not.  But it's amazing to me that a people who had been dealt with so harshly for so long gave Moses and God so much trouble once they were out of Egypt...I mean I understand they were ready to leave and I also understand it was familiar and safe....and the desert was not..it was scary..but guaranteed..anything that separates us from God, any sin we do easily and without thinking has probably been going on for quite a while..and it's going to take time to break it. Take time to get it out of us...

Fastforward to chapter 19  which says 1 In the third month after the Israelites left Egypt--on the very day--they came to the Desert of Sinai. 2 After they set out from Rephidim, they entered the Desert of Sinai, and Israel camped there in the desert in front of the mountain. 3 Then Moses went up to God, and the Lord called to him from the mountain and said, "This is what you are to say to the house of Jacob and what you are to tell the people of Israel: 4 'You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself. 5 Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, 6 you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.' These are the words you are to speak to the Israelites." 7 So Moses went back and summoned the elders of the people and set before them all the words the Lord had commanded him to speak. 8 The people all responded together, "We will do everything the Lord has said." So Moses brought their answer back to the Lord.
In between the two sections they've already questioned and tested the Lord and wished themselves back to Egypt...saying it would be better to die there full than in the desert hungry.  God was patient and loving and provided them with food and water.  Then we come the passage above from 19 and they are going to do everything God has said. 

Boy do I do this.  I question, I test, I argue and then I realize it's SOOOO much better when God's in charge and I tell him, I'll do it your way..everything you say..becasue what you are telling me I recognize is for the best.  All this is before God gives them the 10 Commandments.    Fastforward to chapter 32 and they are making false idols because Moses has been gone too long and they think he's dead...they give up on God and decide to find another "god" to go before them...how often do we replace God with something else?  When things aren't going our way...or even when they are?  We don't have to bow down physically to them...it can be money, tv, time, even our family...if it gets between us and God...that's a scary and difficult thing for me.  I desire for God to be 1st but it sure doesn't always work that way!  (And I'm not even to what my pastor said on Sunday that started all of this..lol)  Though God got angry with them, and I'm sure us when we turn away from Him, He still forgave them and stayed with them...and forgives us and stays with us.

Fastforward to Numbers 14 where it says
17 "Now may the Lord's strength be displayed, just as you have declared: 18 'The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.' 19 In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now."

20 The Lord replied, "I have forgiven them, as you asked. 21 Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the Lord fills the whole earth, 22 not one of the men who saw my glory and the miraculous signs I performed in Egypt and in the desert but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times-- 23 not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their forefathers. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it. 24 But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it. 25 Since the Amalekites and Canaanites are living in the valleys, turn back tomorrow and set out toward the desert along the route to the Red Sea." 26 The Lord said to Moses and Aaron: 27 "How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. 28 So tell them, 'As surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: 29 In this desert your bodies will fall--every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me. 30 Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun. 31 As for your children that you said would be taken as plunder, I will bring them in to enjoy the land you have rejected. 32 But you--your bodies will fall in this desert. 33 Your children will be shepherds here for forty years, suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lies in the desert. 34 For forty years--one year for each of the forty days you explored the land--you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you.' 35 I, the Lord, have spoken, and I will surely do these things to this whole wicked community, which has banded together against me. They will meet their end in this desert; here they will die."
The walk they took...starting from Egypt and going to the promised land, historians and scholars say, should have taken 6 weeks.  Because of their disobedience it took 40 years. It wasn't that it took 40 years to get the Isrealites out of Egypt...it took 40 years to get Egypt out of the Isrealites.  What's in bold is what my pastor said on Sunday that struck me to the very core.  I'm still chewing on that(fyi-anything I spend time thinking on deeply-I refer to as chewing on..lol)

It makes sense.  It really does.  How many times when we hit difficulties, we wonder why it's taking so long.  It could be timing. It could be a combination of many things.  Maybe we have something to learn.  Or unlearn.  Maybe it's to bring us closer to God. 

One of the biggest issues we (my family and I) have had is financial difficulties.  We struggle.  God brings us through every time.  But somehow it's like a roller coaster.  We do ok for a while, then something happens and down we go.  And then He sees us through and we come back out on the other side.  Right now, we have been having some major issues...medical bills from when we didn't have insurance among other things...and there just isnt' extra money to put towards them each month..my beloved was off work for almost 4 months....and just started a new job in Dec....and it's very frustrating to be back in the slump again (mind you, things financial are better than they were a few months ago..but I want to be out of the mess)  So, our pastors statement on Sunday got me to wondering...is there something God is trying to get "out of us" before bringing us into financial security?  More importantly...are they other places in my life, other "Egypts to be taken out of me",  so that I can enjoy the "land of milk and honey" that God has planned for my life?  I'm still processing all of this and trying to figure it out in reference to my life.  I want to be what God wants and I want to dwell in Him.  I can't do that if I'm serving my own desires....very interested to hear your thoughts....cause I just can't quite grasp whatever it is I'm supposed to from this...(not that there is something necessarily..but I have this sense within me that that particular statement God wants me to pay attention to.

Big Sigh


Kids are home from school today because of weather and snow.  We got about 6 inches yesterday and it's bitter cold.  J got up at 7:30.  C just got up...it's 9:30.  She's eating (J and I already ate) and then it's time to get the day moving...rarely am I in my PJ's this late...

Can I go take a nap now?  lol

Ok, signing off...see you in your blogs...


OH, by the way..I am feeling a bit better..though my throat is very sore.  My beloved bought me some ice cream on the way home


blessings
Vicky