Journal/Blog

Letter to Myself

Dear Little (Inner) LuAnn,

First of all, let me say, that I really do love you, and care about what happens to you.  I know that I have let you down by keeping you stuck inside this disgusting, morbidly obese body, and for this, I am so sorry.

Long ago, I promised you that I would always take care of you, and for the most part, I have kept my word.  I’ve worked hard to help you develop character,  remain self sufficient, and to raise your son without depending on any one else.

I was with you and gave you the strength to break free from the chains of childhood abuse that tightened around you, threatening to break your spirit.

It was I that set your goals, and cheered you on, as you broke the boundaries that imprisoned all previous generations of our family’s females. So proud to see you become the first in this family to graduate high school, to drive a car, attend and graduate college, to have a career, and last but not least, to do it all without depending on a man.

I have accepted responsibility for all choices, both good and bad, and have attempted to learn from my  mistakes, as well as those of others.

I feel your pain; both physical and emotional, as you watch life swirl around you, leaving you dizzy, and sickened by the fact that you are stuck on the sidelines, (precariously balanced on the edge of  the chair), just watching  life pass you by.

Others do not see your beauty buried deeply within the fat that has defined you for far too long, but I do. I know your heart. I believe in you.

I understand your fears and promise to help you complete your metamorphoses, by making choices that support your physical health.

I want you to have the life that you deserve, and for others to recognize and appreciate what lies within, instead of being repulsed before ever even taking a peek inside.

I want to celebrate your life with you, knowing that you truly are the best that you can be.

Together, we can do this.

All my love,
LuAnn