Diary of a Middle-aged Woman

02/18/07 - While Channel Surfing . . .

I finally got my hands on the remote. This is not an easy thing to do with my husband and daughter around. While channel surfing I noticed the movie "A River Runs Through It", was on. This is one of my husband's favorite movies because they show a lot of flyfishing the rivers of Montana. My husband is a big flyfisherman.

Anyway, instead of calling to my husband and telling him the movie was on, the thought ran through my mind, "Oh no. I hope Michael doesn't find out this is on." I realized this was being mean, but I still didn't call him to the television. I've seen this movie countless times because my husband watches it whenever it is on. Like I said, it is one of his favorite movies. He considers it a classic.

This started me thinking of all the movies that my husband won't watch. (Here we go, another list.)

1. Black and white movies: He refuses to watch these because, well, they're black and white. He considers the acting in these movies nothing more than one speech after another, and not acting. This includes the holiday classic 'It's a Wonderful Life', which just so happens to be on my "favorite movies" list. Whenever I try to watch it, all he does is sit there and make fun of it. So, I always make a speech of my own before I do sit down to watch it. "I'm going to watch this movie and I don't want any comments, criticisms, or sarcasm while I do. Got it?"

2. Musicals: I can't watch ANY musicals without my husband making snide remarks or comments. 'West Side Story' is a favorite of mine and I haven't watched that in years even though I bought a copy of it. He thinks it is stupid that they walk along singing, and yet people don't stop and take notice. He doesn't understand the concept of a musical. One day I sat down to watch 'Oliver" (another favorite) and he thought I had gone insane. "Really, you're gonna watch this?" He looked at me like I had two heads. Then went to the bedroom to watch the television.

3. Any religious movie: These he considers to be a waste of time. My husband calls himself a "man of science" and therefore, since science proves there is no God, these movies are a joke. One Easter I rented the movie 'Luther' which is about Martin Luther. My husband watched some of the movie and then decided it was "too hard to follow" and went to his Fish and Game Room to tie flies (for flyfishing). At least I had peace and quiet while I watched the rest of the movie. As for 'The Passion of The Christ', well I never saw it so when other people talk about it I have to fake my way through the conversation. My in-laws all went to see this movie when it was in the theater, so I got a detailed report from them.

4. 'Spice World': I can't say that I blame him for not wanting to watch this movie. This is with the Spice Girls - remember them? My daughter saw this movie at the daycare she used to go to. She fell in love with it. Every time we went to the video store she had to rent this movie. I refused to buy it because I knew she would play it non-stop. I would sit with her and watch it, over and over again and again. To this day, my daughter would still rent this movie.

5. War Movies: That is any war movie that has John Wayne, Audie Murphy, or any other actor from the forties and fifties. In fact, my husband didn't know who Audie Murphy was until I told him. (He was the most decorated soldier to come out of WWII, awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for his bravery, just in case you didn't know.) I guess I just expect him to want to watch these movies the way my brothers and dad used to watch them. We would sit in front of the television every Sunday and watch one of them. Michael just isn't into them at all. However, he will sit and watch the newer war movies like 'Full Metal Jacket' for example. These I don't like because of the blood and gore they depict.

6. Scary/Horror Movies: I love watching a good scary movie. Not the bloody, gorey type, but a good "make the hairs on the back of your neck stand-up" scary movie. These he will not watch because he says they give him nightmares. My daughter falls into this category too. I haven't seen a scary movie since I rented "The Ring" over two years ago. I was home by myself and watched it without interruption. I didn't consider it to be scary or spine-tingling, but at least I got to watch a scary movie. I love vampire movies too, but haven't watched one since "Interview with a Vampire". He watched this with me, but told me the next day that he had dreams of vampires chasing him. Oh brother!

7. Any Disney Movie: We are not Disney fanatics. We are not caught up in the whole "we have to go to Disney for vacation". My in-laws, on the other hand, love Disney movies and would buy them for my daughter for every occassion. They have been to Disney countless times and can't believe we have no desire to go there. Having said that, I will watch some Disney movies. I like the old classics like "Lady and The Tramp" and "Mary Poppins". My husband can't get past the fact that it is a Disney movie, so, he won't watch them. Besides, many of them are musicals too. They have two strikes against them.

8. Romantic/Love Stories: The last romantic movie that we watched was "When Harry Met Sally". How many years ago was that a hit? The only reason we watched it was because it was considered a comedy too. But sappy 'chick-lit' type movies are out of the question. "Ghost", for example, we never saw.

9. Tom Hanks Movies: He doesn't like watching these because I happened to mention that I used to have a "thing" for Tom Hanks. Now Tom Hanks movies are something to make fun of. Consequently, I have seen few of his recent movies. The last one was "The Green Mile", or whatever it was called. Michael has mentioned that he would like to see "The DaVinci Code" but I think that is only because I read it in one weekend and totally ignored him and my daughter. He started calling me 'Mrs. DaVinci'. He can be such a smart-ass.

10. Kevin Costner Movies: This is my fault. Once, when we were still single, Michael made a big fuss over Madonna. I got jealous. (I know, that was stupid on my part.) Anyway, I remember picking up a copy of Time Magazine and seeing Kevin Costner. Just to get a rise out of Michael, and to get back at him for making me jealous, I started making a big deal about Kevin Costner. In reality, I am not a big Kevin Costner fan. I think the movie "Robin Hood" was big at the time. So, I insisted that we rented it because the big thing about this movie is you got to see Kevin Costner's bare butt. To this day, Michael thinks I absolutely love Kevin Costner.

To get back to my original thought, as I channel surfed and passed "A River Runs Through It", I wondered how many times Michael came across movies that he knows I would like. Is he sitting there thinking, "I hope Vick doesn't find out this is on"? Since he is the 'remote king' and seldom gives up control of it, who knows how many great movies I have missed out on.

This is my humble entry for the day. I hope you enjoy it.

Have a GREAT day!