Too purty to live in town.....

Friday 2/23/07

Well, today's the big day. I sure wish these next few hours would pass quickly so I can just go and get this thing over with. Seems both Joe and my mom is getting on my nerves this morning. Not that it's any pre surg anxiety or anything....if I did have that, I wouldn't admit it because it violates my rules of "if it hurts, hide it" and "if you're scared, don't show it".

Mom's the queen of stating the obvious. Don't get me wrong here. I don't want to sound ungrateful for her being here and helping me. I could not do this without her help, and I do love her very much. She just thinks out loud, bless her heart. The things that most folks would just mentally acknowledge, she feels behooved to say out loud. I think part of this comes from her living with my dad for so long. The man talks non stop, so momma doesn't get much of a chance to talk when he's around. Since he aint' here, she can talk. <sigh> I try to humor her, but it's bugging me today.

She knows I'm real anal about having plans in order. To me, plans are security. I like to know what to expect, and when to expect it so I'm not surprised. I don't care much for surprises. Since she knows that, in her mind, I guess she thinks that I have to plan every fricken minute of my day, which isn't so. She asked me this morning what I was planning to do before we leave for the surgery center. I couldn't help myself, forgive me Lord. I said, "well, Momma, I thought I'd change the oil in the car, mow the lawn, and then go run a marathon." She laughed. She said, "you mean, do absolutely nothing, huh? I can't blame you"

This shouldn't bother me. I should be a bigger person and give her more tolerance and grace. But it made me nuts. So, I'm a bit short on patience today. I own it. I'm not worried about today. I do have a worry, but it is not related to my surgery or Joe or the mess with the donkey. It's one of those things that will eventually resolve itself, but it isn't resolving fast enough for me. I know that if I push this particular issue, it will resolve faster, but most likely not in my favor. That is all the motivation I need to sit tight and watch it all unfold the way the universe intends it to. In the meanwhile, though, it is really weighing on my mind. Not much I can do about it, and common sense would say that if there is nothing I can do, then I shouldn't worry. Yeah, well that makes good theoretical sense, but theory and practical application in this instance seems quite far removed.

Damn, I want some coffee......arrgh. Maybe we'll get to the surgery center early so they can give me some valium by IV. That way I just won't care. LOL

OK, I'm gonna stop rambling now. I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna be fine.

Thanks for stopping by,
Curls