Mental Meanderings

Hopes, Dreams, and Goals

Those three things do play such an ultimate part in our lives, don't they? I often wonder about other peoples hopes, dreams, and goals. I wonder what makes them strive into each day or what keeps them climbing out of bed each morning. How many people spend their lives following patterns instead of creating them?

I know I spend a LOT of time following patterns and I have particularly strong hopes, dreams, and goals. What I don't have is the drive, the courage, or the will to go after those most of the time. I like to dream big dreams but I rarely have much faith in the ability to make those dreams reality. Which is, of course, a self defeating attitude.

The only way you can reach your hopes, dreams, and goals is to BELIEVE you can have them. Knowing that doesn't however make it any easier to believe. Thus is the way with most of my life. I know a lot of great theory but putting it into action often feels impossible. I actually qualified that because I was about to say it IS impossible but I know it really isn't, it just FEELS like it is, sometimes.

I'm in an emotional rollercoaster at the moment thanks to my hopes, dreams, and goals. It actually feels more like an emotional blender that gets switched of and on all the time. I can rocket to 100 miles an hour on an emotional high, feeling fantastic and believing that anything is possible but then the next moment I'm flung backwards smacking hard against the walls of doubt and fear.

I guess these sorts of sensations are what keeps life interesting but I really wish those walls weren't quite so hard or high. The plummet after hitting them is even more painful then the impact and knowing that the ground is rushing toward me has me expecting even more pain.

The strangest thing is I know these walls are built by my own hands. Technically that means I have the power to build them softer, or shorter, or not at all. Technically! But then I can't imagine a life without walls. Four walls to hold me upright. Armed walls to keep out danger. Glass walls to let in the light. And the highest, strongest, hardest is a wall to sit on when the others all crumble.

It doesn't stop the little girl within me hoping, and dreaming, and setting goals. It doesn't stop her believing in fairy tales and wishing on shooting stars. She goes on trying to believe that the world is good and that anything is possible. She struggles because reality tends to batter her about a bit but she still lives on, hoping, dreaming, and setting goals.