Mental Meanderings

The Financial Pages

Ok, so I'm definately not a math wizz, I'm also not rich (YET!) but I've been learning a few things about finance and knew a fair bit already but haven't been putting it into practice. Today I decided that it's time I stopped thinking about money and started acting on making sure I'd have some into my future.

A few months ago I was actually doing really well financially (for my standards). Separated from my exhusband I'd discovered that a single mothers pension and the child maintenence we'd decided he would pay equated to only a little less than his paycheck used to bring home. This actually made me feel really well off. I mean without the expense of his car and his eating habits not to mention the luxuries he insisted on (cable tv, mobile phones, a social life) I could live on less then we had when married.

Being in charge of my own finances was a huge step for me. It was something I'd never done before. I'd gone from living at home where I let my mother handle my income (from being a check-out chick) to being a wife where I let the husband do what he wanted and tried to ensure the bills got paid before services got turned off after that. I was in charge of the bills but I could only work with what was in the account which he had free access too and frequently decimated. Anyway, now on my own I was in charge of everything that went in and everything that came out.

It felt wonderful to know that we could live well enough on what was coming in. I could stay home with the kids and work on my writing. It's certainly not a grand lifestyle, we're on the poverty line but our needs are required and some of our wants are satisfied. The internet and my account here for example are always on my priority list of things that get paid for but are wants not needs.

Of course, getting by really isn't enough. At this rate I always come to the end of each month with some concern. Especially since my buffer is gone. A few months ago I maintained a small buffer so that I never felt deprived and could 'blow out' on occassion for things I wanted on the spur of the moment. I had actually worked up some equity in the house and so the buffer went into enough money to do some of the renovations I wanted. 10K later I was back to my minimum buffer and then the chance to have the airconditioner installed came along.

I made a choice, one I don't really regret but one I'm very aware has completely changed my situation and it's taking longer to sort myself out again. It took away my buffer completely. And now, month by month I live on the line hoping that my mortgage will come in under my threshold and sometimes begging and borrowing from family to ensure it does.

Now comes the chance to turn around my finances however. I know the theory but I've avoided putting it into practice because when you're so close to the line it often feels like there are no choices. I really had to take a look at the lifestyle I've been leading these past few months and decide to act now to prevent the situation getting worse. I have to make some sacrifices to get back on track.

One of the primary finance rules I'm going to insist I follow from today forward is PAY YOURSELF FIRST. 10% of my income is going to be automatically transferred into a high interest savings account. For the moment anyway until I learn enough about the various options for low risk long term investment.

My second goal is to cut back on unneccesary spending and put all my money toward getting out of debt. Regular repayments to my family to ensure that I'm back to zero balances there and then paying more than my interest on my house. I know I won't get my mortgage to a zero balance any time soon but I also know that I can't go on forever paying only the interest. That mortgage has to keep coming down every month. One advantage with my equity loan is that by continuously putting the same amount into it every month it'll drop faster and faster as the outstanding balance comes down.

There are so many things I want that require money and I know it might seem kind of mercenary to be so focused on that aspect but from what I've learnt about life finance has a huge impact on our happiness. Finance gives us a sense of security and significance. I know what it's like to give and take just to get by.

In a way the experience of having so little is a huge blessing in my life. Understanding how hard it can be to live day to day, hand to mouth, makes me truly appreciate what I have. Given my situation I'm so very lucky to have a home of my own. I pay about what I would pay if I were renting a house, but every payment goes toward a mortgage that with time will make the house completely mine. When that balance reaches zero I'll have a home I can live in the rest of my life for free (other than rates and amenities). My family are well clothed, well fed, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to give my kids toys and games to play with. My daughter goes to a really good public school that costs barely anything and is within walking distance allowing us to get some great exercise.

I haven't got a lot and yet I feel wealthy. I feel abundant and I actively give away what I have to others simply because I know how hard it can be. Sometimes reaching out and touching the life of another, helping someone step up, step out of a dire situation gives you this amazing sense of ultimate wealth. Here on WDC is a great way for me to give. I love knowing that I can touch the lives of other writers around the world. It might seem small and insignificant sometimes but in that life I've made a difference. There is a real sense of wonder and joy in that.

Of course, it brings me back to my own finances. Just imagine what I could give if I had more myself. I have a few crazy dreams. *chuckles* Unbelievably enough one of them is to at some point in the next ten years have enough to fund the beginning of a real life writing community. Or at least a writers get away or seminar. Something that focuses on giving writers a chance to truly grow and learn and experience the real love involved with their writing. To touch their roots and inspire their souls.

Meanwhile there are a few closer to home financial goals I'm going after. But the dreams are there, the knowledge to make it happen is growing, and the action begins now and every moment from now reinforces that. I have 'enough' but it doesn't sake my thirst for having more and my desire to GIVE more to the rest of the world.