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Building a Gazelle (Updated Mar 5th)

Congratulations on purchasing your Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle exercise unit. No doubt you're pleasantly surprised to have it delivered three to six buisness days faster than expected.

We understand some of you may not be going to your local gym as often as you used to, despite the fact you've regularly gone to gyms ever since you were an adolescent. We understand you haven't been happy with some of your local gym's policies and the restrictions to your Bball playing there. Your new Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle can join the thousands of dollars worth of other gym equipment you have in your home, most of which now resides in your son's Derek's room, but will, (hopefully), soon be collected together in a room devoted solely to exercising and exercise equipment.

You will no doubt be surprised to see your Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle comes shipped in a package much smaller and lighter than you had expected. We have oodles of other surprises awaiting you once you open the shipping carton.

Step 1/ Open the shipping carton. Give yourself plenty of room, for although the parcel isn't as big as you expected it to be, it's still one frickin' big box.

Step 2/ Do not open the shipping carton until you've shut your very adorable, but very curious, little kitty cat away in another room as Cricket will no doubt be very eager to help you by pawing and poking and playing with stuff.

Step 3/ Oops. We probably should have mentioned step 2 first. Awww well. It's too late to lock Cricket away now that he's seen what's inside the box and besides, you're eager to get started aren't you?

Step 4/ You had expected your Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle to come completely assembled didn't you? Hah! As you can plainly see, your Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle comes shipped to you in oodles and oodles of pieces, all of which are contained in non-seethru bags or in cardboard boxes. There's even peices inside pieces. We've disassembled pieces just so you'll have to reassemble them again yourself. Hah ha!

Step 5/ Take a moment to admire the strength of the sticky tape the tape gun employee at our factory in China used to secure your Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle. Isn't it the strongest and stickiest frickin' sticky tape you've ever encountered? Notice how thoughtfully our Chinese sticky tape gun guy taped pretty much everything in your Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle carton. Even bags inside of bags have been thoughtfully taped shut and those bags have in turn, been taped to other stuff too.

Step 6/ Now take another moment to admire how expertly our Chinese factory workers have assembled and placed all the oodles and oodles of bagged, boxed and taped components into the shipping carton. Notice all the various molded styrofoam and cardboard dividers and protectors. Now take another moment to consider how the Hell you're ever going to get all the Rubic's Cube components back into the damn box if you decide to send it back within the thirty day grace period.

Step 7/ Begin emptying the shipping carton, placing to one side all the molded styrofoam and cardboard divider thingys...after you've dealt with all the super strong and sticky tape that the factory guy used to tape everything down with.

Step 7a/ This step is just for you Cricket. You will be of great help at this stage by pouncing on all the ooodles and oodles of components, and then carrying the smaller thingys off, to be left in other rooms. Be sure to return again to help out some more. Make sure you carefully hide the bottom monitor housing M4x 12mm screw in the kitchen, the left wheel holder bolt washer on the stairs and the axle tube assembly C washer under the couch. Thank you Cricket.

Step 8/ Ensure all the components are included and accounted for, (once they have been de-bagged, de-boxed and de-stickytaped).

Step 9/ Stop sticking sticky tape on Cricket and get back to work.

Step 10/ Consult your various owner's guide and assembly instuctions. Haven't we made it look easy? See how easily your Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle goes together in the instructional drawings? Why even a monkey could effortlessly put this together.

Step 11/ Tighten your very first bolt. This bolt holds the plastic left wheel holder onto the steel lower left frame assembly. Oh oh. The cracking noise you just heard was the plastic left wheel holder cracking. You're going to have to be more careful.

Step 12/ Begin to wonder if you made the right decision buying your new Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle.

Step 13/ Notice how the cylinder clip covers can be confused with the front and back strider limiter covers if you're not paying attention.

Step 14/ Replace front and back strider limiter covers for the cylinder clip covers.

Step 15/ Stop sticking super sticky tape on Cricket and pay attention to what you're doing.

Step 16/ Attach and align the axle tube assembly through the swing arm assembly...no...not that...that's the rear frame assembly...no...that's the front frame assembly. I said the axle tube assembly. Not that thing...nope...yes that thing. Now put that thing through those things there...but make sure it's the right way round...almost...not quite...a little more...little more...there. That wasn't so hard was it?

Step 17/ Continue consulting the various owner's manual and installation guides. Ponder how the wires that connects to the front housing display, (supposedly), go under the axle tube when clearly they can't reach.

Step 18/ Assemble the monitor housing unit EXACTLY as instructed. Notice the front housing unit wires clearly cannot reach.

Step 19/ Disassemble the monitor housing unit and once more reassemble EXACTLY as instructed. Notice again how the front housing unit wires clearly cannot reach.

Step 20/ Disassemble and reassmble the damn housing unit thingy yet again while swearing loudly at the easy to follow "monkey can do it" instructions.

Step 21/ Stop swearing at the monkey and stop swearing at Tony Little.

Step 22/ Stop sticking super sticky stuff on Cricket.

Step 23/ Take a break. Clearly you're in no state to be around "a monkey could do it" instructions and sticky tape.

Step 24/ Notice how Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle components and packaging are scattered throughout your house. No doubt that thingy you just stepped on in the upstairs hall is some key component. Hopefully it has yet to go on and isn't supposed to be attached already.

Step 25/ Give it another try.

Step 26/ Ponder why your Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle assembly instructions mentions pickle jars. (Pickle jars should be opened using a counter clockwise motion) Also consider the bit about "Swedes don't have a word for underpants because Swedes don't wear underpants".

Step 27/ It's obvious the easy to read instructions are now pure gibberish to you. Take another break.

Step 28/ Back at it again. You're making nocticable headway now. It's actually taking shape.

Step 29/ Things have been going too smoothly. Time to break the left bottom plastic cylinder clip cover. Damn underpantless Swedes.

Step 30/ Very close now. It won't be long before you're gliding and striding your way to aerobic fitness. Just frig around a bit more with the monitor housing wires, the left handgrip assembly and the resistance cylinder clips and voila! One Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle ready to go.




Now to get busy with my "after" photos.






Product Review

Although I wasn't pleased with the two parts breaking, overall the Gazelle wasn't that difficult to put together, (not quite as bad as my enrty made out), and it seems like a half decent product, especially once I get the hang of it.

Another update...clearly the Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle isn't whisper quiet or I'm doing something wrong.

Latest update...I finally set aside time to follow along with the DVD workout and I'm feeling a LOT better about Tony Little's Sprint Master Gazelle right now. Up till now I've only been puttering around with it on my own and not really using the machine like I was supposed to. Overall I'm quite impressed. It certainly got my heart pumping. Next time I'll know to keep a handtowell nearby or perhaps wear a headband as the sweat was stinging as it ran into my eyes. That's exactly the type of workout I was looking for. I have plenty of muscle toning and resistance equipment but was sadly lacking in aerobic equipment after the exercise bike bit the dust. Apparently I burned 400+ calories after completing the warmup and advanced routine. I'm not sure if that's good or not as I've never monitored the number of calories I've burned before. It felt good. I've followed along before with exercise videos and been disappointed. I also noted that I have a bit better range of motion in one of my legs which can throw me out of sync at times. On the downside, the handles can hit you if you're not careful but that's not painful, only annoying.

I called the Gazelle company on their toll free number and found out how to reset the computer after each workout, (now I don't have to keep taking it apart and disconnecting the batteries). They are also going to replace the two broken plastic parts and told me what to do about the noise the Gazelle sometimes makes.

I also like the workout DVD, (haven't tried the other yet). The music is good and I find I really like Tony Little and his outlook on life. I was concerned before doing the workout I may not like the Gazelle but, at this point anyways, I'm glad I got it.

Thank you Tony Little.


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