Diary of a Middle-aged Woman

03/04/07 - I Drive Like a Man

This past week I was informed that I needed to attend a meeting in a nearby county. I'll be the only one from my office attending the meeting, so carpooling is out of the question. The drive will be over an hour long and I have no idea where I am going, or how to get there. Chances are good that I will get lost.

This got me to thinking of how I refuse to stop and ask for directions. This is very 'man-like' I know, but it is one thing that men do that I fully understand. To me, and I'm guessing men too, stopping to ask for directions is like sending up a red flag telling the world "Duh! I don't know where I am. I'm stupid." My reason for not asking for directions is I know I will eventually find my way if I just keep driving. Of course this line of reasoning has its drawbacks. I always find my way, but sometimes it takes me a little while. Like two or three hours.

For example, the last time I had to attend a meeting in the same county I got there without any problems. It was the drive back to the office that threw me for a loop. How is it I can find my way there, but end up getting lost on the return trip? All I had to do was follow the reverse directions that I printed from the internet. Somehow, this didn't work for me.

I drove around the county looking for a familiar sign that would definitively show me the correct way. Road numbers and East and West were all I could see. These meant nothing to me. I had no idea which way to take, so I did the old standby - eenie, meenie, mynie, moe. Off I went in, what proved to be, the wrong direction.

I passed acres of farmland with cows lazily grazing in fields. This would have been a relaxing ride had I not been expected back at the office. Eventually I came to a wildlife preserve. I have no idea how I ended-up there and wouldn't be able to find my way there again if I tried. I had to slam the brakes to avoid hitting two deer that decided to cross in front of me. I was the only car on this road, couldn't they wait until I passed?

At this point I had a meltdown. Afterall, I was driving around lost for over an hour. If I wanted to ask someone for directions now, I couldn't. There was no one around, and I hadn't seen another vehicle on the road for the past half hour. Road signs were non-existant too, as I hadn't seen one of them for quite awhile either. I pulled myself together, turned my car around, and drove off into the unknown.

Finally, I saw a sign. I pulled up to read it, and my mouth dropped open; my chin almost hitting my lap. The sign read "Maryland 11 miles". Now I knew I was in big trouble. I had been driving south the whole time, when I should have been driving north. I thought to myself, "On the bright side you now know to go left instead of right." Unfortunately, it was already past two o'clock and I knew that I wouldn't make it back to the office until five, which is closing time.

I quickly whipped-up a lie and called the office to tell them I was stuck in a long line of traffic and "from the looks of it, I'm going to be here awhile." It worked. Now I concentrated on how to get home. Three quarters of a tank of gas later, I pulled into my driveway. What a ride.

After all of that you would think that I overcame my reluctance to stop and ask for directions, but I know I haven't. All I can say is, I hope the deer that I saw my last trip to this county learned how to cross the road since our last encounter.