Mental Meanderings

Never Enough Time In A Day

There are fantastic days when you feel like you really get a lot accomplished and others when you feel like you're barely out of bed before it's all over. Some days drag on and you get by doing nothing. Other days you're doing so much but there just isn't enough time to do more.

Today was more like the latter. I woke, bright and moderately early. Not the 5AM early I've been aiming for but that's because I slept badly again last night and gave myself an hour to sleep in. So this morning I was up and started the day with a hot cup of tea and my emails. It's always a wonderful way to start the day.

I managed to get some work done in the morning but there is so much I want to do and there just never seems enough time to get it all. Slotting in some manner of work schedule amidst taking my daughter to school, working out, doing the grocery shopping, returning to pick my daughter up from school, doing her homework with her, getting dinner for the family, getting kids to bed etc. It's a crazy kind of schedule, especially in 42C heat. The kids don't want to sleep in heat like this so their bedtime lingers for hours with them up, excuse after excuse.

Thankfully even with a two year old distracting me I managed to get 600 words of FoT done. I'm tempted to do at least another 500 tonight to make up for taking a sick day yesterday. It wasn't painful tonight. At least not as painful as it can be. I know where I'm going and I'm beginning to live Tori/Torque again which is a good sign. Even Lucas is coming easier these days.

I also managed to do a little processing on the Poetry Submission aspect. It is chaotic and overwhelming a lot of the time. There are so many markets and I feel so small and insignificant when I read over the published submissions. Somehow I feel like I could never possibly be ready to enter the world of poetry publication. Another part of me reminds me that while my work isn't brilliant with perseverence I could get some of it published and in trying I'll write more new poetry and grow and develop further.

That is assuming I can sort out the chaos in my mind and be brave enough to send SOMETHING to one of the millions of markets out there. So far I feel like I'd have to write specifically for the market which is ok I suppose. I'll have to spend a day writing a collection of submissions for a market and get them out there. I could, if I continue working hard get multiple submissions out each month.

Of course, that's all on top of what I've already promised myself to do. I have "Invalid Item"  obligations, daily reviewing, daily poetry, email, FoT, blog, etc. Those are all only my writing obligations. Adding to that family, home and health aspects as well gives me a pretty full on plate each and ever day. No wonder I was wiped out this weekend.

Thankfully, most of the time I just feel energized and optimistic when facing so many projects. Especially since I really am making steady progress on all of them. FoT is really coming along now and I'm feeling very positive about the directions it's taking. One foot in front of the other of course because I only feel good when I focus on the now aspect instead of what's to come.

In fact I really should carry that creed into every area of my life. It's the forward thinking that causes my inner turmoil. I need to pay more attention to the baby steps along the way. Perhaps if I acknowledge all the baby steps I've taken today I'll realize that I've done a great deal, more than enough for a single day. Tomorrow I'll have the opportunity to make a few more steps and in no time at all my future will be upon me.