Frizzy Hair, Horny Boys and $3 Movies

Boyfriends...or the lack thereof

         I dont exactly understand myself. Of course I never do. I secretly wonder why it is that I am willing to settle for a "one night stand". I deserve love just as much as the next person does. Granted I am only 16, soon to be 17 thank you very much to the month of June. And I dont quite understand why it is that I am always single. Why is it that I have never had a boyfriend?

         I dont even understand why I want a boyfriend. Why do I think that having another person in my life will make me happier? All those close to me have let me down. You would think by now I would have learned my lesson. Maybe that in of its self is my problem. I have built a wall. But how else would I have survived these past couple years if I had made no defense against the evil in my life?

         I need to learn to love myself before I can love someone else, I know that. But wouldnt it be nice if I had someone who loved me to teach my how to love myself? Well yes that would be dandy but highly unrealistic. Sigh. I despise being a teenager.