Who Am I?

Posing a question

May 3, 2007

Happy Thursday!  It's actually a pretty nice thing for me because Jamie doesn't have preschool tomorrow...and I'll be short a child...so I will only have the 3 boys...and don't have to do any running until tomorrow night's game!!!  Yeah! Well...Cassy has practice tonight..but I mean through the day.

Yesterday I told you I had a question for you..First a bit of an explanation.

When I joined WDC the first piece I ever entered into my port was

Encounters with Christ  [18+] #1200379 An essay on healing and surviving by hoosiermomma2

It is a religious experience piece...given to me by God late one night..it is a piece I used to release my worries, my grief, my fear, to my heavenly Father. It's a piece filled with my own emotion, my faith, and the grace and peace God has granted me.  I sat and waited with great nervousness after posting it...waiting for someone to tell me that I couldn't write to save my soul...let alone anyone else's. Instead I was given wonderful encouragement and some sound editing advice. Some of it from those of you I now call friends..some from those I have never met.

  (I can hear y'all now, saying get to the point Vicky)

I want the truth in all reviews...This particular piece is very special to me because it was the first piece I posted..it was also one that I had an extreme spiritual connection that I was knowledgeable of during it's creation. For the most part I've not changed anything because of that. I have made a few grammatical and spelling edits where appropriate.

The other day it was given 2 reviews...which surprised me since it's not really been edited recently or anything...one of them gave me a 5 ...the other gave me a 1.5.

Now, thankfully, I'm not easily knocked down..and it doesnt' really bother me that the person didn't like what I wrote...There are pieces that I've written that it might hurt me more to get such a low rating...but I am an amateur and I post what I write to get opinions and help. Sure, I'd love it if all of my writings were 5 star and everyone told me I needed to get myself published RIGHT NOW!  LOL Wouldn't we all?

It did p*ss me off just a bit...mostly because everyone else who had commented had rated it a 4 or higher-and I do realize that all of this, the contests, the ratings, reviews are subject to each indiviuals tastes, likes, dislikes, etc. But it's not so much this thought of "how dare that person rate me like that...he/she knows nothing"

I felt somewhat attacked. I also felt rather like this person was anti Christian....and I could be wrong...but felt that the comments were made to detour me from writing for Christ-which is mostly what I do write..and had done that same day....  And I so badly wanted to defend...partially what I'd written-partially because I felt the need to stand up for Christianity, Christ, Christian writers... The charge that I had taken grammatical liberties, I can't argue with-won't edit it because I don't feel like I"m supposed to...I wrote it like I speak...and if those reading it hear my weakness, my being raised up from the ashes...it serves its purpose...but to say this was a "safe" topic-that because we live in a predominately Christian society-so people would feel uncomfortable being negative about another persons deep religious convictions....that I disagree with...it's quite scary and feels very unsafe to have my personal experience with my God hanging out in internet land...and while most have been positive...my prayer is that religious piece or not-a reviewer would feel comfortable pointing out mistakes and issues within a piece...I'm not asking, as a writer, for their critique on my beliefs..and my opinions are just that. I'm not, and would presume to guess that most are not, going to take a review, stating that there are grammar issues, or that something doesn't make sense and feel it was an afront to their faith....just doesn't make sense....to me anyway...I didn't write this piece to display my writing talents-which are being worked on and refined daily. I wrote it because I was led to..I shared it here as means of -well God led me here too...I think so I could get confirmation that He wanted me to write for Him-and I got that..this single review will not detour me...actually at this point...no review could detour me from writing and sharing for Him...I don't think..

I know..come on already what in the heck is your question....lol...

There are -the first  are basic writers questions...when you get a review you don't agree with..one that seems pretty negative-how do you respond? 

I responded...though I had to wait and pray...and wait for God to lead me...or at least control my gut reaction-and I thanked the person for their input and time...I told them I had gone to look at their port (something I read on someone's blog...sorry, I cant' remember whose..but the point was not to jump to conclusions about a reviewer...so) I was all set to go take a look, try to get an understanding of this person, their writing...but there was nothing....they've been at wdc for more than a year...so I'm guessing they are a reader/reviewer but don't write. Anyway, trying to be nice (with a hint of frustration, I will admit) I told them to feel free to let me know when they had something in their port for review...I don't remember all that I said...and I did voice that I disagreed but again, thanked them for sharing their opinion...and signed off as I do on most responses...blessings, Vicky.  I was almost afraid to respond..afraid it would start an arguement (I've had that happen before). I've gotten no response..which is fine...but should I have handled it differently...or just left it alone and not responded?

My final questions is for those of you who are Christians..or at least those who have an opinion on the topic. Again-a fairly long explanation..but..lol..if you've made it this far...might as well stick around for a few..

I believe in satan. I believe he interferes in our daily lives and would like to waylay us and others...I believe in the power of God to overcome satan and all evil and that intercessory prayer plays a part in that......I choose to write for God. I choose to share my faith with those around me...and by doing so I open myself up to be attacked by satan....because i"m sure he'd rather I didn't do it...lol...I laugh but I'm not sure how to explain my question...I don't know whether having responded differently could have swayed this reviewer towards God-but I had a definate inner sense that responding in anger and in defense would not honor God and would give satan plenty to work with...that's why I prayed...so that I would have the words to say...that would not dishonor Him....so I guess my question is kind of ...satan working? Whether by using the reviewer to trip me up so I would respond with anger...or ..some other way...especially since I'd just posted yet another piece of writing Praising God. Or am I reading too much into the situation....

I'm deep into thinking about my faith right now...we are reading a book for Wed night's by Leslie Weatherhead...called The Will of God.  I'm not sure I like it much and I'm struggling...I need to have a heart to heart with my pastor...when time allows.

Also, my heart has been heavy this week..some stuff as gone on (church stuff, home stuff, kid stuff) that has affected me....the church stuff is more related to my beloved, the home and kid stuff is mostly related to running and lack of sleep. I'm tired and getting run down...today and tomorrow look much less hectic and I'm hoping they will be.

When I wrote the piece

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the other day..it felt very good...I felt very close to God...the fact that the review happened within hours of me writing it makes me wonder about the above issues...and yet in a way..it kind of excites me....if satan is on the attack (not something I'm thrilled with really) but it must mean God is using my writing to reach someone, somewhere....and that makes me full of joy...because I want to write for Him...

Ok, I've babbled alot....and I'm not sure if it will even make sense to y'all...lol
Please, though, be honest...I dont' want anything less than truth...

One last thing...just because I posted the items above...or liek the other day..please don't feel like you HAVE to go look-if you want to, fine..but mostly it makes it easier to explain...and then it's there if someone wants to look.

I'll be around to visit y'all when the little ones go down for nap

hugs and blessings
Vicky