The Snowflake Chronicles

Tell Me About Your Mother

8 Jamal 164 B.E. – Saturday, May 5, 2007

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she realizes one of three things have happened to her. First, she sounds like her mother, I’m not talking about the voice (although people tell me that they can’t tell my Mother and me apart on the phone), I’m talking about the words that come out of the mouth. Second, she looks like her mother (never tell this to a teenage girl, she’ll give you a “you’ve got to be kidding look”). Third, not only does she look like her mother, but she sounds like her mother as well (this realization dawns upon you in the middle of the night). I look like my Mother, although there are times when I catch myself using the same words with my nieces and or nephews as Mom used with me.

Then there is the role reversal. You know what I’m talking about you become the parent and your Mom the child needing taken care of. I’m not completely to this point yet. My Mom just got home from the rehab hospital a few days ago. She is bed bound unless I put her in a wheel chair, she can’t go to the toilet, so I’m the one who has to change her diaper and empty the urine bag that the catheter tub empties into. So part of the role reversal is there. She is somewhat better, she can help a little more when I get her into the wheel chair, but it’s still a chore.

Today for breakfast, I fixed us chicken (I bought some of those boneless chicken thigh at the store when I went), French cut green beans and carrots. I was going to fix oatmeal for lunch, but decided against it. Instead, I’ll fix a hamburger. Mom is napping now, so I think I’ll go put the dishes into the dish washer, I’m not doing dishes by hand any more, I’ve got way too much to do without that. I just heard Mom say something (this house echoes wonderfully and the washing machine stopped. I don’t have a cloths dryer that works properly so I’m stuck with hanging cloths out on one cloths line. I can hang them on a patio as well. A technician will come in Monday between 9:00 AM and 12 NOON to fix the dryer. I can’t not wash sheets or any cloths between now and Monday, so I work with what I have.

Anyway, it’s cloudy out and it looks like rain, I have wet sheets in the washer and in the morning will probably have another one or two sheet to wash from the hospital bed Mom’s sleeping in, never mind my own bed. I haven’t changed my bed in three or four days, I slept on the love seat last night. My dining room table is in my living room. The hospital bed Mom uses is in the dining room. I’m going to go get a wet sheet and hang it out on the line. If it gets wet who cares. I said as much to Mom and her response was “It was wet when you hung it out.”

Mom has decided she’s going to take her father’s attitude. Grandpa was the type of person who, if someone said “It can’t be done” would do it. If someone told him “You can’t do that” would do it. Therefore, I have no doubt that she’ll get well. She’s just not getting well as fast as she would like. Mother’s day is coming up on May 13, on the 14th Mom has a doctors appointment. If she is having trouble getting in and out of the wheel chair or I think I can’t handle her in the car I’m going to get a MediCar to take her to the doctor.

I think one of my brother’s may want Mom put in a group home or something like that. He said as much when he called today. I told him that I’d check into it. However, I decided that I’m not going to do that. What I’ve actually decided to do is to became a bitch. I’ve been way too nice all my life and people seem to want to run over me. When I get sick of them doing it, I “bitch out” and they seem to respond better. I do what I can and have to do, I can take Grandpa’s attitude as well as Mom can. In fact, that sounds like a good idea.

Mom wants to be in her own home. She is happier in her own home. I can find the resources here it assist us if necessary. My brother isn’t the one living here with Mom, I am. Mom isn’t as fragile as he thinks. Mom isn’t as fragile as the surgeon who operated on her thought. I suspect they presume that just because she is 86 she is completely helpless, but she isn’t. She is just momentarily incapacitated.

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