The Book Of Twisted Tales

Little Tommy Tucker

Little Tommy Tucker
Was an ugly fucker
Who couldn’t sing for a dime
He was taken by wanking
Self abusing yanking
Which of course was no crime

He sang on the street
For something to eat
But soon realised there was none
For his vocal was shit
Like a rake through grit
Until pity was shown by someone

He was given bread
And an offer was said
By a flamboyant but very thin man
Tucker didn’t think twice
Just named his price
And was soon in the back of a van

He worked only at night
Using a knife just right
After hours of digging in the cold
A body snatcher was he
Commanding a hefty fee
To him flesh and blood became gold

No questions asked
Large sums he amassed
Growing rich from each body part
He had his face rearranged
His wanking days remained
Until he married a money grabbing tart

It all went wrong
After not very long
When she left him and took all his loot
Not a penny to his name
The sperm bank was his game
A fiver for every load he did shoot

He passed his time
Wanking off just fine
Building his fortune once more from scratch
But in time he found
To his dick he was bound
And it, not a woman, was his perfect match.