a collection of journal entries, essays....that I wrote a while ago |
When I was young, I never knew either of my grandfathers because they both died of a heart attack when my parents were very young. However, I am very close to my grandmothers. Since my father's mother lives in Durban, approximately 1 hour flight from us, I was closer to my mother's mother whom my brothers and I called situ Janie. Whenever I think of my grandmother, I remember her sitting on a chair in the corner of my aunt's dinning room with her remaining leg raised on a foot stool. During the course of her life, my grandmother had to overcome many obstacles. When my mother was only 16, my grandfather passed away and situ Janie was forced to raise four children by herself. In addition, even though she had stopped smoking for over 15 years, damage from nicotine had already taken place in her system; she had to have her leg amputated. Despite all the hardships in her life, my grandmother was very jovial, determined and active. Although she lived with my aunt, we were always around her and she often slept at our house. Being the youngest of her 15 grandchildren, she spend most of her time with us and spoilt my brothers and I rotten. However, in January 1990, I was only eight years old then, we had just come back from Durban- the coast of South Africa, where we went yearly for the Christmas and New Year holidays- to hear the devastating news of my grandmother's death. Regardless of my tender years and my consequent failure to fully understand what had happened. my whole life had changed. My grandmother. my role model and my friend had been taken away from me. Now she was gone. No longer could I joke with her or go shopping and expect her to give me a basket and tell me to pick whatever I want. No longer could I sit on her lap and sing "I just called," by Steve Wonderand and expect her to join in. Basically, she was no longer there to do with me the things that a grandparent did with her grandchildren. Yes, I still have my father's mother but she lives far and we seldom see her. I looked up to my grandmother and often tried to imitate and learn from her. Despite all the difficulties in her life, she always found a way to be happy and constantly reminded us that life is short and that we must enjoy it while we can. Being the youngest of the grandchildren, my grandmother spoilt and spend the most time with me. She often called me to sit and talk to her about anything, I told her everything. She was my friend, I played with her, talked to her and even learnt from her. As time has passed, I have begun to understand that even though she has passed away, I must not cry becuase she has done to a better place. In HEAVEN, she sits with the Lord and looks down upon us all. In addition, I often pray to her and even though I do not see or hear her I know she is always listening and guiding me though life. |