rolling down a hill in a barrel with the inside covered in razor-wire |
It's been a long while since I've put something up. Something to share...for you to be coepacetic towards, or loathe me for. I've kept breathing for a while. I choked up a few times, but im better for it. Needless to say I was an idiot for a long period of time. I could still be an idiot, but im less of one than I was yesterday, and that's encouraging. I think everyone should feel that way. That way we look towards tomorrow. Crystal...that was just me being whiney and god-awful. For those that read that epic series of gopher vomit, my apologies. I'm not nearly anything close to that person anymore, and im better for it. But the person that I am now is completely different. I'm more lax with things, I've gotten fat and unnatractive (however I did go through a sexual guru stage where I was skinny and the ladies were all over me). I also experimented with drugs for a while. Well...the first time was an experiement...the rest of the years that followed were more of a conscious decision to enlighten my mind body and spirit. I got close to a vision of Golgatha, ensuing storms, and feeding on the blood of the savior...but then my girlfriend got hit on by my dealers, and I was hit by reality like a defribulator run by a dynamo. But things are getting better. Ive started progressing with my artwork, and ive gotten some ink put on my body. Ive been upgraded to a starving artist instead of just a slacker. Im actually productive some of the time, just a little misguided still occasionally. Committed to actual love now, instead of infatuation. I adore the person Im with now, and I understand the bonds of giving and letting go, understanding, communication...all that good stuff. Love is nice, some of the time. But its work regardless. |