The Undiscovered Country

A Milestone

Psst. I wrote this yesterday, but didn't have the time to add it.

Yea! I just puked!

At first glance you might read the above sentence as sarcasm, but I don’t mean it that way at all. In fact I’m thrilled about it.

Why, you’re now asking, would I be excited over my first bout of morning sickness?

Because I was afraid of it. Few things in this world I despise more than puking. It doesn’t matter how much it hurts, or how much better I feel if I allowed my body to do what it needs to do, I fight it every step of the way. I fight it harder with other people around. In fact, when the urge struck me a few minutes ago, I grabbed my car keys so I could drive home and let loose there. Until I realized I didn’t have that kind of time. What made it slightly more comforting are the walls are thick enough in the bathroom, plus a solid door, no one can hear what goes on (I can also fart with complete freedom). If they weren’t not only would I get some questions afterward, but I don’t want to gross anyone out.

Now that I’ve done it once, realized my body gave me plenty of warning so I didn’t have to run to the bathroom - and I feel so much better afterward - I no longer fear it. Nor (I hope) will I fight it unless absolutely necessary - such as if I’m standing in my boss’s office, or whilst at a restaurant. That wouldn’t look good.

Keeping this secret from my other friends and family gets more difficult with each passing day. Not for the congratulations, but to share one-on-one all that’s going on, especially with those who have children of their own.

News and changes like what I’m now experiencing need to be shared.

As strange as it may sound, but this little purge made my pregnancy a little more real. Having the symptoms is one thing, but until I either see the baby with my first ultrasound, or feel it moving, it’s still just a dream I haven’t awoken from, but expect to at any moment.