Rotten Rumours, Redheads, and Romance

Let the games begin...

In the remote northern Australian town of Falls Creek there is to be a convention held on a range of many different environmental Issues. At this convention there is to be an immense amount of different types of people from all over the world. One of the people who had arrived in town for the environmental issues conference was the world-renowned detective Mr. Robert Clueless. (Some people however wondered if he was world-renowned for his stupidity but as he was pretty high up in society they never said anything to him.)
As it happened his able assistant Mr. William Watt was in the town also, but he was there for a wee holiday and not for the environmental conference. There is in town as well, the millionairess Maxell Brown who is also going to be speaking at the conference, She is being accompanied by her lawyer Mr. George Fresco and his secretary the gorgeous brunette Lila La Tour.
Then there is the locum priest Father Francis, who will also be saying a few words at the conference. As well as four extremely shady looking characters he seems to know very well. Their names are named Sneaky Sam, Rat, Skunk and Weasel. Last but not least is another very beautiful redhead with startling blue eyes and her name is Miss Julia Bones, she also will possibly be saying a few words at the conference that is being held at the Earth Wind and Fire Environmentalist Complex. The complex is on the northern side of the falls for which the town was named.
The town’s leading environmentalist Mrs. Theresa Green, whose husband runs the Tall Timbers Motel on Forest Drive had organized the Environmental Conference.

Robert Clueless arrived in town on the evening before the convention starts and is picked up from the airport by his colleague/ aide/ friend William Watt. Robert Clueless is then taken to the motel that has been William’s home for the past two weeks while he has been holidaying in the own of Falls Creek. Since Robert ate on the plane he and William decided to get as much sleep as soon as possible (which would be as soon as they had their showers). Robert has to be up early for his usual morning run before he goes to the conference.

The following morning Robert awakes and asks William if he would like to accompany him on his morning jog, getting a definite, absolute, emphatic no from his colleague he asks him which way he should head to get in a decent jog that morning. Being told to head north out of town towards the falls he feels that he will have a pleasant jog with nothing to think of except the up-coming conference. After jogging three or so km’s Robert sees another jogger in the distance, a little while later the two joggers come abreast of each other and stop to have a chat.
“Nice morning for a jog is it not? Inquires Robert.
“Yes it is rather, I usually go jogging every morning back in Melbourne. By the way my name is Father Francis I am the locum priest at Saint Christopher’s Church,” chirped the Priest happily.
“My name is Robert Clueless I am a world renowned detective,” bragged Clueless shamelessly. “I am here for the Environmental conference that starts today”.
“I too will be attending the conference and I’ll also be a guest speaker on the first day of the conference.” beamed Father Francis grandly.
“I look forward to it and hope to see you there,” said Robert enthusiastically. Leaving the priest Robert continues with his morning jog, a little further along the track Robert sees a sign that reads ‘Falls Creek National Park’. A little further down the road Robert can hear the great roaring sound announcing the fact that he is coming to the falls, coming around the corner he realizes what he is hearing is the roar of the falls.

As he jogs closer to the falls he sees some freshly made tyre tracks leading off the main road. “Now that seems a silly thing to be doing in a National Park,” mutters Robert. Deciding he had jogged about his normal 5 kms and wouldn’t really have time to have a good look at the falls Robert headed back to town. Along the road a little way more Robert notices a few more tracks leading off into the National Park.

Robert gets back to the motel and finds William has already left for his day of sightseeing around Falls Creek. Although he had left a note for Robert telling him he had hired a scooter for him to get about on. Robert quickly has a shower and gets dressed. As he is leaving his room he realises he does not know in which direction the Earth Wind and Fire environmental complex is. So heading for the motel office he steps in just in time to see someone’s back leaving the office in rather a hurry. Sitting behind the counter is a man who seems to work there.

“Hello there Sir, my name is Albert Green and I own the Tall Timbers Motel, I hope you are not wanting a room Sir, as we are already fully booked out?” smiled Albert.
“No, no I’m not wanting a room at all Mr. Green as I am already staying here at your motel, Robert Clueless is the name, I am staying in the room with William Watt,” replied Robert confidently.
“Very good sir, what can I help you with?” asked Albert.
“I would like to know how to get to the environmental conference that’s being held at the environmentalist complex just around town somewhere?” asked Robert brightly.
“ Of course sir, just continue down this street until you get to the fire station it is the bright red and yellow building on your left hand side, simply turn right there and follow the road for a further two kilometers out of town. You will see it on the banks of the creek it is the place with all the big green shade trees all around the grounds,” said Albert.
“Thanks very much Albert, I had better get going or I will be late on the first day and I still have to register,” Replied Robert. As Robert rode his scooter he thought that the person he had seen lurking around the back of the motel, trying not to let anybody see them and leaving the office in rather a hurry looked very suspicious.
“Very suspicious indeed” he decided out loud and then moved on to other matters which needed his attention. Robert arrives, gets registered and sees his seat in the distance just when the first speaker of the day starts to speak.
“Well everybody thank you so much for coming all this way for this conference, I know some of you people have traveled from as far away as Melbourne to be with us today”. Meanwhile Robert Clueless had slid gratefully into his seat and started to look around, that was when he realized that the man sitting in the seat beside him was Father Francis from Saint Christopher’s church.
“Goodness me Father, I had hardly recognize you in your dog collar and robes,” exclaimed Robert with an amazed tone.
“That is alright Mr. Clueless it took me a couple of minutes to realize that it was you also, you look so completely different in a tartan suit,” exclaimed Father Francis in a friendly tone.

“How is it Father that you have been sent way out to the back woods to work? Did you get on the bad side of your boss when he got out of bed on the wrong side or something?” asked Robert laughingly.
“Actually I requested this posting because it is such a great change from my usual place of residence I find it is like a holiday for me rather than a job,” explained Father Francis, seeming glad to talk (probably nervous poor fellow, thought Robert who was always nervous about something or the other.).
“I’m sure I would be bored to death inside a week if I had to come to a place like this little town way away from everything for my holidays,” grumbled Robert grumpily.
“Well I usually live full time in Melbourne and have an extremely busy parish and if it’s not one thing happening it’s another. I enjoy the peace and quiet of the outback towns, I request to be sent up here every year when the environmental conference is on and I can kill two birds with on stone, as I have gotten to know most of the parishioners I now treat them all as some of my best friends,” announced Father Francis proudly. “However,” He added thoughtfully “ When I first came here it was certainly an extremely hard job to get to know the parishioners as well as I know them now.” As he seemed lost in thought Robert left him alone for a minute, then made an observation that would have been worthy of William Watt...