Shadow Puppet Storyteller

Self-Reliance, No Big Deal

My kids are excellent neighborhood negotiators (I'm not sure if that should read: mooches?). It may be in the genes. I recall being a big neighborhood wanderer. I recall several wholesome, great neighbors that endured my visits. Kumquats grew from the gated yard south of my childhood house. There were older neighbors with fine furniture and collections behind glass who were happy to pull out the Scabble board or a number puzzle to otherwise occupy me. I was still an only child and was also gifted a bicycle with training wheels some prior Christmas, and so often adventure was within a block (or three), and better within reach in that particular time.

I wonder sometimes whether those experiences were just essential to my comfort as a mother, or live on as lessons for something still down my path. I went through a real questioning period in the last two years about whether I have a sufficient number of friends. I remember that that and the juggling of those friendships when I was young were a major stressor back then. Isn't it for every school-aged kid?

I'm studying R.W. Emerson's essay, "Self-Reliance," for a class assignment, and with these things in mind, I'm seeing that an interest in self-sufficiency has always been important to me. So, having solely supported my family for several years, I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall when I let myself slip into concern about the finances.