The Undiscovered Country

Explorations

How easy I could weave words on a page. It didn’t start out that way. My first efforts were dreadful. Writing took practice - much practice - and many tears along the way.

Have all the years of work been worth it? Absolutely.

But, there are times when dreams must be reevaluated. I used to think I would publish a slew of novels someday, but now I’m not so certain. In reading current authors’ and publishers’ advice, I have a glimpse of the work it takes - even for those wanting to publish through traditional methods. It’s a catch-22: I need to have a name (or a brand) before anyone will notice me, but how do I go about that when I have nothing to show for it but one complete novel worth showing off, even if it does have a potential for at least two trilogies and two prologues?

Sure I have articles and short stories, but those aren’t in the genre I want to write in.

It’s possible. Many have done it. My problem is I have neither the imagination or motivation to find a way. I am not a self-motivator. I need people to push me, and I don’t have that right now. Then again, I’m not asking for help either, so who’s fault is it? Mine, and mine alone.

Makes me consider giving up in all honesty. And with this new change in my life I may not have the time to write more, let alone market what I already have.

I said before by not submitting my writing I’m not using God’s gift to its full potential, and therefore am disobeying him. But what if God’s intent was completely different? What if he wanted me to write so I will grow closer to him and for no other reason?

Some dreams take a different path. Others must be left behind to make room for new ones.

I can’t help but wonder if writing is one I need to leave behind.

I want to stress something before I end this. I am exploring my thoughts in search of clarity, nothing more. You may at this moment try to talk me out of giving up on writing. Understand I’m not giving up as yet. However, as life changes and takes unexpected turns, I have to consider all possibilities. If I don’t, and my dreams get shattered to the point I have no choice but to quit, that’s the real tragedy. Then I will spend the rest of my days regretting, and even begrudging God for stealing my dreams away.

If I know beforehand they must be left behind for something better, then there’s no room for regret, or for being angry at God. I will still look forward to tomorrow, and not constantly wishing things hadn’t changed.