Life with an Addict

bad day

The bad days are growing more frequent. I often find myself waking in the middle of the night to check on him to see if he is still breathing. Those who know what I'm going through think I'm strong. For a while I thought I was too, but now the stress is physically draining my body and for the past few months I didn't think I wanted to be strong anymore. I decided I just wanted to break so I could collapse and possibly sleep for an indefenite period of time. Tonight I spoke with a friend of his. One of the most amazing people I know. When he's your friend, there is nothing you could possibly do to break that bond. Anyway, we had a long talk and he showed me his strength and determination to get him help. Since that talk I've done so much thinking. I always felt that if I could get through each day it was enough. Now I see that being strong is useless unless I can use that strength to make a difference. Somehow, some way, I have to get him into rehab. I need to save him for the sake of my children. If I can't do that, everything I;ve been through, everything I've fought to be strong for has been in vain.