It's Not Easy Being A Christian

The Inner Muusings of Jesus

These are fantasy writings on how Jesus may have felt at different occasions during his life.  While I am composing this book they may not be in the correct chronological order but as soon as the book is finished, I will put them in the right order.  One of the reasons for this is that as a writer, you cannot always choose what you want to write about.  It just comes to you.  Just as the punctuation and correct spelling is something that interferes with what you hear in your head.  A lot of so-called correct procedures must be put aside for this creative process to begin and then work correctly.

Actually each writer has to find his/her own way.  A writer can come in either sex.  Being a writer is beyond your sexual gender.  All of these outside things can interfere with flow of the writing.  Many writers prefer to write in longhand and then type it all up. It may take them years of practice to get it on the computer first hand.  That’s why there is a first draft, then corrections, etc. and the creative writing process goes on. For one thing the computer is slower and the writer may have to train himself to work with the computer’s energies.  The energies are very important.  To me the computer’s energies feel square.  I can’t explain that to you.  But trust me whatever process any writer uses is one that must be respected and used to its best advantage.  There are many things that must happen before you the reader, ever gets to see the finished product.

Writing is a holy process.  It must come from the heart and soul of the writer.  If it doesn’t, it’s not a true work of art.  It’s like magic…a whole new world that is completely different than our physical world.  I am writing this to you just so you will understand and appreciate the world of the writer.  Sometimes, the words come so fast that you barely have time to write them down.  This is the real joy of writing...this feeling.

Writers somehow transcend into this world of imagination and fantasy, where nothing is important to them but what they’re hearing in their head. Every word is precious and if you’re meant to hear it, it must have a certain feeling to it.  It’s like a connection to the universe and if I have to say it out loud …to God.

Some writers are storytellers, some are poets, and some are almost like prophets.  It’s like a gift that you must learn to love and appreciate. To me, the thrill is hearing the words.  Typing them up and getting them ready for someone to read, is never as much fun as the hearing of them to begin with.  Publishing them or selling the writing never comes to my mind.  Being well known does not seem to be important either.  Like I said, a writer lives in a world of his own.

This world for me is the most pleasant place I can be.  I come to this world which is completely mine, not in an effort to escape the physical world that I must live in and do enjoy in a certain way but I come here because it is a magical place where I can really be me.  I can dream.  I can see things clearly.  If I am writing about God I can reach out in my mind and touch his face.

There are no barriers between me and the universe. I am in his sight and I can contemplate him up close.  It has been said that no one has ever seen God but I disagree with that.  Saints have come close to him, prophets have felt him to such a degree that that their lives have been changed forever.

Even the simplest of men have felt his glory.  We do not have to be theologians to hear his word, we just have to love him and be open to his presence.  He is God.  Who can tell him who he can touch?  If he chooses to come to you do not ever be afraid to be in his presence. He is the creator.  He is the Father.  We are the children. 
As his child, we have that cosmic connection to him.  No church or institution can give us that.  Now don’t get me wrong religions are great and we need them in the world but they can only give us theories and suggestions on how to get to there.  By there, I mean Heaven or wherever God is.  They cannot make this connection for us; this is strictly between God and us.

He is always there but we are born into this world to experience love and if we’re lucky, Him.  Knowing all the answers may make us feel better and even smart and important but it is not the ultimate experience.  He is.

If you’re the average person, how do you get to that point?  How do you experience God?  I can’t presume to tell you this but let’s just backtrack for a minute.  No one is average and certainly not you. You may look at yourself that way but if you do, you need to change your perception of yourself.  I’m sure that God doesn’t look at you that way.  In the Bible it says that he knew us before were even born.

That must be right since he created us in the first place. Now right there is where we must exhibit faith, just because we can’t prove that.  Either we believe it or not.  God is not a scientific fact to be proven.  We can see his creation everyday.  Even if you believe in evolution, someone or something had to give life that first initial push.

We spend far too much time trying to prove to each other that we are right or that we have all the right answers.  This is ego, if I understand that word correctly.  We allow churches and other people to influence us by desiring their approval instead of understanding our own concepts.  God should be our only concern here.  We may never completely understand him but this is not the point. He understands us and will most certainly give us this personal understanding at some point.  I believe the old word for this was Grace.

God’s Grace, what a marvelous thing to experience. How many of us do not understand that concept or have not ever experienced it?  We often get together and try to pretend that we have felt him, when that is really a lie and we just want to impress other people.

Humility is the experience of really feeling him and knowing that this is all his doing and actually nothing that we can do will ever bring that out about.  We have to give him his proper place in our life and that my friend, is exactly right in front of us…face to face. We should be willing and even eager to come that close.  Is this impossible?  Of course, not.  Nothing with God is impossible.

We live in a world that does not really know this experience. Miracles and angels are merely a myth in our society.  If you truly believe in them, you are considered a weirdo or even a dumb son of a b?  I’m sure you know what I mean and you may even have experienced that.  Take heart, this is really a blessing in disguise. Consider yourself lucky, really lucky.  You’re not just one of the herd and you haven’t been brainwashed by the world.  Be glad that you’ve escaped this disgrace.

You might actually think about being in that lion’s den.  Was that just a story to boost up our courage?  I think not.  There must have been a real Daniel somewhere.  His courage is meant to stir our own.  We may never have to be in that situation, whether it was real or not but we should be ready to be there.  That’s the real point isn’t it?  It’s all about what we’re ready to do, what we’re ready to experience and how soon can we do this?  Are we ready right now?  Do we have to gather up our courage or should it just be the way we feel and we actually feel this so intensely, that it’s just the natural way to live. 
If we can love God so much that it doesn’t matter, people can say what they want and it doesn’t affect us.  The love of our God is so very important to us, that the world can believe what it wants to.  Never mind that we may be in the minority. How many of us can say that we actually love God that way or that much?  We may actually love him because we’ve been taught from our childhood about hell and we may not want to go there.  Of course, we shouldn’t want to but if this is the only reason we love God, it is very sad.  He deserves more than that from us.  Can you even imagine how that must make him feel?

Some people say that since we can’t really understand God, we are not really responsible for what we do or how we feel.  Nonsense.  That’s ridiculous and really just an excuse for doing whatever we want to.  If we could actually always make moral and right decisions, it might be a different story but we all know that’s not true and quite impossible.

There’s something to be said for fallen grace.  Still it does not give us an excuse.  We may not know the truth because of this fall but we still have God to call on and to ask for the answers.  What if we should actually happen to hear him, even if that would make us be different, wouldn’t it actually be quite marvelous?

We shouldn’t criticize those who claim to hear God.  They may actually be telling the truth.  If they should use this for their own glory or gratification, then this is a definite clue that they may be lying or hypocritical.  Some say that today prophecy is dead but how can we really know this?  God can speak in any age.  For our own sakes, lets all pray that there are still some prophets out there some where.

Some people say that because Jesus has come, that there is no longer any need for any kind of prophets or prophecy but I think now and then that we may need some new reminders of what we really should be sure of, in the first place.

Some people say that the church is the utmost and current authority in this day and age but why should it be so?  Certainly it is there to guide us and for many people it is a bulwark but I say to you, just where is your belief in this or your own voice?  Isn’t it up to us as an individual to say what we believe in and both our privilege and our own personal duty, to speak the truth as we know it.

We may each have different opinions but that is not the point.  As the children of God we should and do have the right to speak up.  We don’t have the right to pressure or bulldog anyone into believing exactly as we do.  We must remember that we all have free will, even God respects that. After all, this was his idea.

We must be the present witness’s to Jesus and have his courage to speak out loud. We don’t have to drown people in this belief but we should not be afraid to offer it to them.

In this current day and age some people are turned off by religion. They either think God is dull or that being religious is silly and even naïve.  Other people’s ideas have turned this subject into a stupid idea because we either don’t agree with them or we have to keep our mouths shut for fear of reprisal or rejection by the crowd of so called believers who can’t actually think for themselves.  This is a sad state of affairs and it was this way even in the days of Jesus.

This may sound rebellious but society has its evil ways and has reduced us to being merely puppets. We should respect it for being there and trying to keep chaos at bay but it is not our highest authority and should never be considered the ultimate rule. We may have to follow its rules because we are citizens of it and live in the land of the free but look at it in this way, our true freedom must come from the will of God.  If he chose to give us free will then he must have thought that this was the most important freedom of all.  His authority is the only one that matters.  It is true that we must all learn just how to interpret that but I think that this something we can all learn or at least we should be willing to try.

Many times we try to make God fit our own image or personal idea of him. This is wrong.  It is not wrong for us to try and see him in such a personal way but sometimes we just need to let him have his own freedom and be who he is. He might enjoy that.  If we can’t see him for who he is, then perhaps we should ask for this personal understanding to be given to us.

Personal freedom is in question when we have to live by the majority rule.
Television evangelists, god bless their little hearts have been telling us for years, that they have the answers but I doubt this.  No one human has all the answers or very seldom even just a few of them.