Where's the Silver Lining?

An update, but no silver lining - yet

Where to start? The past two days have been nightmares ending with me ready to scream, cry, pound the wall, wail, However, nothing like that would help.

Yesterday morning I arrived at the hospital at 6:30 AM (thanks to my son). We had been told that Robert would have surgery about 7:30. At 8:30, the server brought his breakfast tray. We asked if he was supposed to have food. The nurse, who was at the door, said no orders had come to them that food and drink should be withheld. About half way through the meal, a CNA took his tray away, saying orders had arrived and he was to have nothing by mouth.

Finally about 11:30 AM, the surgeon stopped by, looked at the two wounds that were not healing, and said surgery would be at 2 PM. At 3 PM, Robert was wheeled to the OR holding room. We waited there for nearly an hour. The surgeon told me he would speak to me after surgery, which would take maybe 30 minutes. Forty-five minutes later, I went to the desk by the waiting room. The woman on duty called and then told me Robert had been taken to the recovery room, and the doctor would be right out to visit with me.

Thirty minutes after that I asked again. I was told that the doctor would be right out. I waited there until the desk nurse locked up the place. The recovery room was dark. I went up to Robert's room, still without ever seeing the surgeon after the surgery, to find Robert had been back in his room for over an hour and a half.

The surgeon did tell Robert that both places were much worse than expected, and that the finger was much more dangerous: The infection was in the bone. Thankfully Robert remembered. The doctor said he would send a report to the nurses' station. He never did.

The doctor in charge of Robert's care in the hospital is great: bright, helpful, caring, and willing to explain. When Dr. Pruitt came by the first time today, he was rather upset that the surgeon never talked to me or came by to check Robert.

The really bad news of the infection being in the bone means Robert will be hospitalized in a specialty hospital for a month to 6 weeks so that he can received antibiotics twice a day through IVs.

His heart does not like what his body is going through. The cardiologist came in to see him late this afternoon. Robert's heart is just wearing out and slowing down. Only God can really help in that situation.

I know that I'm emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. It's bad enough with Robert's condition, but I can't come and go as I really need to because the van is wrecked. Always relying on others doesn't work very well, and I do hate to ask all the time.

Robert and I won't even be together except maybe a short time Saturday, my birthday.

Okay, time for pity party over, time to suck it up and keep going. *sigh* I'd cry, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to stop.