The Undiscovered Country

Hovering

I've had many surprises these last three months, some good, some annoying, some scary, some funny.

I found one that at present tops my annoyance list: Hovering.

My parents especially. Every time I see or talk to them, they’re all concerned about my health, if I’m comfortable, if I feel well, etc, etc. I think they’re taking my pregnancy more serious than I am! To me, this is a natural course of life, just like breathing. While it is a big deal, it’s also not - if that makes any sense.

I know they mean well - they are parents after all, and their job is to worry about their children no matter how old they get - but it bugs me.

My mom had her first child at 19 with no one to help her. I’m nearly twice her age, and I have 10 times the support she did. She acts as though I’m as scared as she was, and therefore I need her (constant!) presence and assurances.

I’m pregnant, not suffering from a debilitating disease. I’m comfortable with how everything is progressing, so I don’t need to be coddled. Women have babies every day with little to no problems, so there’s no reason for me or anyone else to worry. It’s a natural function of the human body, this pregnancy thing.

I refrain from mentioning any normal symptoms, such as my fingers swelling, because some immediately assume the worst. I’ve had to placate my mom more than once that I’m perfectly healthy after I mentioned it to her.

She also expressed her desire - twice - to stay at our house for a week after the baby is born to help, such as staying up at night to feed it while I sleep. I told her - twice - that I appreciate the offer, but it’s completely unnecessary. Dave will take a week off after the baby is born to help, so I won’t be alone. Plus she’s a mere phone call and 15 minute drive away; she doesn’t need to move in.

It’s also a matter of pride with me. I decided to have a baby, so it’s my responsibility to take care of it. Will I need her? Absolutely. I know I’ll thrust the baby in her lap when Dave or I (or both) need a break. I just don’t need her 24/7 attention.

Taking a longer view, I think part of the problem is - at least in America - we’ve become fearful of so many things:

Wear your seatbelt, because you might get in an accident. (You should see all the warnings and cautions in my Jeep’s owner’s manual. Sheesh! The thing would be 10 pages long instead of 120 if they removed all the stupid warnings.)

Wear a helmet, knee and elbow guards when you ride a bike or skateboard, because you might fall and hurt yourself.

Test for every known disorder and disease before, during, and after your pregnancy, because so many things can go wrong, ya know.

Use anti-bacterial soap and cleaners, because God forbid should you touch a dirty counter and catch a cold.

I could go on, but you get my point.

To live a life of fear is no life at all. I’m not afraid for myself, so when people hover, it confounds and irritates me some.

Change o’ subject:

If you don’t know yet, PastVoices started her new blog!!!

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