Starting Over...

A Prolific Update...

It seems I've had another turn of bad luck. Something went very wrong with a long running project I took over in the lab. I wasn't responsible for the original error that snowballed with every additional experiment, but the two other people working on it had left the lab to pursue PhDs. That left me to take the full brunt of Dr.S's wrath. In a nutshell, she's asked me to find another job by the end of the year. She also said she wouldn't endorse me for another research position, which ,though hurtful in principle, is sort of a non-issue. I don't WANT to go to another lab. This me BURNED OUT.

So far the best option for my predicament seems to be taking an animal caretaker job in one of the vivariums at the university. It only pays about $20,000/yr starting, but I'll keep my great benefits, including the one's that allow me to take graduate level classes for free. I'll just be able to pay my current living expenses and student loan payments at that rate. With my experience, it shouldn't be hard to eek out a raise before long. I've also talked to the coffee shop people about kicking a few more hours my way to have something to put into savings and toward additional classes at the community college. My savings are pretty skeletal at the moment because I used most of them to pay off my car early. Oops. Well, that's $300/month I don't need to worry about paying anyway.

Because these jobs are decidedly low key, they'll allow me the mental space to focus on my classes as well as getting to know my new therapist (my old one retired in July). My plan is to do this for about a year to 18 months until I've had a chance to recharge, relearn to how to be a student, and retake calculus. *shudders* I'm still on schedule to take the GREs Sept. 29th, though I haven't had much time to practice the writing part. I also still plan to apply to UVA, Tech, and VCU's environmental science programs for admission in Fall 2008. VCU is the favorite because they will take up to 6 transfer credits from another school and appear to have the most practically based program. I guess I'll have to learn to love Richmond. I have no idea what I'm going to live on. I don't want to take out more student loans, but there doesn't seem to be any way around it. *sigh*

I'm making a risky call on this. My goal is for my last day in the lab to be Oct. 24th. That will give me time to do right by the labmates that did right by me (and to pay off some recent car repairs that are still sitting on my credit card, since my saving didn't cover it).

I talked to my stepmom today and she supports me. She even offered her and my dad's spare bedroom if I need it. That's a relief. I'll just have to be tough when dealing with my dad's hurtful, juvenile behavior. It would be an absolute LAST resort, if for no other reason that it's just sad to be 30 years old and crashing with your 'rents. And I was so proud of being independent too. I haven't had much family support in my life and I feel like with my stepmom at the helm I'm less likely to be screwed over. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let them help me.