Aria in Elysium

Peter Pan Complex

I was....what? Ten when I first visited a psychologist. It was for the whole family. I was angry, and....well I was angry at the world, so I probably made my parents feel guilty for things that were not even their fault, but at the time I didn't care. I liked the doctor though. She didn't pry--just listened....didn't wrap up common sense in a different package...just listened and gave advice which....sometimes worked. When I was willing to give it a shot.

Well, at the age of...19 we once again went in. New doctor. Again family sessions cause my brother has "issues" I just say hes a freaking drama queen who seriously needs to control himself.

I didn't like her.

She sounded like a broken record, and oh, she sounded like a high school counselor. "You're all so special! you're family is so special!"

Yea...woot! Shall we bring out the cheerleaders? Bring out the care bears?

I know I have a great family--but the way she said it made it sound cheap.

She said my sister acted out to call out for attention. DUH. Gee thanks for that. We OBVIOUSLY hadn't figured that one out.

That my brother was paranoid and anti social *GASP* NO?!REALLY?! Well la de da! Ain't that just a huge surprise?

And oh, and this got me laughing...that I always used pens, and pencils for drawing and writing because I was DESPERATE to get control of my life, and those instruments are easily to manipulate....

WHAT...THE...HELL?

Um, no....they're just cheap and don't make a huge mess.

She also said that she sensed I was trying to hold on to my childhood, any piece of it, and thats why I enjoyed fairy tales still. She said I daydreamed to escape the harsh reality that is life.

Thanks, Sherlock. I had no clue. Really. Thanks for opening my eyes.

YEA I am trying to not lose my child like wonder and my child like pure imagination. Cause in a sense, I want to carry that with me forever. I don't want it gone.

YEA I daydream to take my mind off things. I've done this for as long as I can remember. Even now I like playing make believe and I like talking to myself and my characters, and I tell stories out loud. Thats fine. Cause after that, I'm more focused on what I'm supposed to do and I do a better job.

I know Psychology helps some people....kudos to that. Really. But for me...it just seems everything that women told me was common sense or nonsense wrapped up and decorated with shiny bows....