The Undiscovered Country

Give it back!

Okay, who did it? I know you’re out there, hiding and giggling at me. You didn’t take it out of necessity for yourself, but to make my life miserable - or at least extremely uncomfortable. That’s just rude, you thief!

Now give me back my bladder! Don’t you know I need that thing - desperately? It’s bad enough little Thomas kept squishing it, but then you up and remove it. Do you have any idea how many times I go to the bathroom now? I can’t get anything else done - you know, like eat, sleep, work, read and write.

Note I have a substantial reward available for your capture and subsequent conviction for bladder thievery. It's big enough your mother couldn't resist. I looked, and there’s no statute of limitations, so it’s definitely worth your while to come forward - with bladder in hand and undamaged - now. I may be gracious and not press charges.

Maybe.