A peek at the REAL Thumbster

A Quick Swedish Bee Story

"Their bombs are made with cruelty and hatred. Our bombs are made with forgiveness and love. They bomb us to kill us. We bomb them because we care."...excerpt from Hilter's Feb, 1942 "Anyone Up For A Picnic?" speech.







Hi Thumb fans. How about some annoyingly repetitive lyrics before I proceed any further?

"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
Where?
Down in my heart.
Where?
Down in my heart.
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
Where?
Down in my heart.
Down in my heart to stay.

Hah. Good luck getting that out of your head. I can just picture Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons singing that over and over and over again.

How about a quick story Thumb? (I hear you all say)

A quick story? (Stupid repetitive lyrics. I can't get them out of my head now)

Yes a quick story. But make it a quick, silly story Thumb.

A quick, silly story?

Yes. A quick,silly story, but also make it a true story.

A quick, true, silly story?

Yes. A quick, true, silly story. And it also has to be a quick, true, silly, Swedish story.

A quick, true, silly, Swedish story? (Answering everything with repetive questions is REALLY annoying isn't it?)

I said "Isn't it?"

Yes it is. (I've now forgotten who's asking and answering these stupid questions. I don't care anymore. I'll just get on with the story shall I?)

I said "Shall I?"

Yes you shall.



This quick story was inspired after reading AL 's journal/blog, in which she mentioned all the paperwork and rigamorel she has to go through. She has to keep records for everything that happens in her school kitchen, and especially if anything "terrible" happens...like say, what if a bee got inside her kitchen.




A Bee In AL's Kitchen

This is a quick, Swedish, bee in Al's school kitchen story. I assure you no Swedish bees were harmed while making this story...except for the bee that happened to find itself in Anna-Lisa's school kitchen one morning. (That bees dies a horrible, painful death)

"Oh shit! A bee! A bee!" Shouted Anna-Lisa, (the heroine of this Swedish bee tale)

"A bee? Where?" Replied Misha=Loppa, her sub woman temporary kitchen helper.

"There! THERE!" Cried Anna-Lisa pointing to the bee as it buzzed around the school kitchen. "Gårrrry must have let it in here just now." I was getting some very dirty looks.

"Sorry Anna-Lisa." I sheepishly said.

"Oh shut up Gårrrry. You have no idea how much extra paperwork you've just caused us. Quick Misha. Get out the Bee Report Manual."

"Misha=Loppa." Replied the sub woman tmeporary kitchen helper.

"Huh?"

"My name is Misha=Loppa. Not simply Misha. Don't forget the Loppa bit or my double hyphens either."

"We don't have time for foolish name stuff Misha. Quick. Get the Bee Report Manual. We have to keep track of everywhere the bees goes in the kitchen and everything it does."

"Is it a boy bee or a girl bee?" Misha asked.

"How the Hell should I know!"

"That's one of the things we have to fill out in the Bee Report." Replied Misha. "They also want to know what was the bee doing before it came into the kitchen. Where did it come from? Is it a local bee?"

"Oh shit Gårrrry. Just look at all the trouble you've caused us."

So Anna-Lisa and Misha=with double hyphens=Loppa madly chased the bee around the kitchen for almost an hour, all the time carefully documenting everything the bee did as well as everything they did. At 10:45 Misha suddenly said, "Stop chasing the bee Anna-Lisa."

"Huh?"

"According to the Bee Report Manual the bee is entitled to a five minute rest once every hour. We're not supposed to chase it or bother it in any way for the next five minutes."

"Oh that's just stupid." Cried Anna-Lisa, who had been only inches away from swatting it. "Oh no! It's landed on the butter. Look. It's making teeny tiny bee footyprints."

"We're going to have to throw all that butter away now." Sighed Misha=Loppa. "According to EEC rules, any food the bee touches has to be discarded."

So Anna-Lisa and Misha stood idly by during the five minute "time out" rest period that the bee was now enjoying. Meanwhile the bee continued to leave teeny tiny butter footyprints all over their previously clean school kitchen.

"Grrr. I'm sooooooo going to swat that little bastard." Growled Anna-Lisa, as the bee flew past, mere inches from her face.

"Oh no! It's heading for the soup!"

Yes, it was true. The little bee flew straight into the huge vat of bubbling herring soup that the entire school expected to eat later that day.

"Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Cried Anna-Lisa as she used a laddle to churn up the huge vat of soup, but no sign of the bee though.

"We can't serve the soup now. Everything must be thrown away and we have to start all over again."

"Oh shut up about those stupid "no bees allowed in the soup" rules Misha. This story ends right now Gårrrry. Out! Get out of my kitchen."

So I left. I have no idea if Anna-Lisa threw out the huge vat of herring soup or if she served it anyways. I felt especially bad when I let another bee back inside her kitchen while I was leaving.

"Oh shit. Not another one!"

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"





And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack
Sit on a tack today.

You go Ralph.

Take care.

Thumb






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