Ten-Finger Exercises

well lookee here!

Here I am, going about stewing over Lorna, and about my Renovare group; about my daughter, who didn't get back to me re her Thanksgiving plans so I could make some of my own; and my son, who didn't want to go with his dad and new family to the beach for Thanksgiving, along with his sister and hers; and where am I going to get reservations for us at this late date?

While I've been stewing, I've been distressed and tearful. Tonight I didn't want to go with Bill to the airport to pick up something and then take something to somebody's house, and something else to somebody else's house-- and so he went away mad.

I actually had a pretty good day today too, until I got busy enough to worry.

On my buffet I just uncovered a handout from a national conference on spiritual/psychosocial aspects of hospice care. It says, to wit:

WHEN I FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS...

I fix, protect, rescue, control, carry their feelings, don't listen.

I feel tired, anxious, fearful, liable. (labile, too.)

I am concerned about the solution, answers, circumstances, being right, details, performance.

I am a manipulator.

I expect the person to live up to my expectations.


WHEN I FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO OTHERS...

I show empathy; I encourage, share, confront, level, listen, am sensitive.

I feel relaxed, free, aware, high self-esteem.

I am concerned about relating person-to-person, feelings, the person, the other person making it on his/her own.

I am a helper, a guide.

I expect the person to be responsible for him/herself and his/her own decisions and actions.

I can trust and let go.

Good advice. I'd better take it.