Aria in Elysium

And reach out your hand....

Graphic designer is on the table...its been on the table for a few years, but not its been moved a little more...up the ladder.

Don't know if thats really what I want...but I really haven't found a career that maes me feel all giddy and excited, and wanting to sacrifice a lot. This is the closest to that.

My dream job would be somewhere where I need to write and draw all day...and yes I know...Illustraitor....but...I don't know about that.

To be honest, I've never been very confident in ANY ability I have. Even writing. I'm always double guessing myself, and my writings never seem to measure up to where I want them. In fact, I honestly am surprised when I get 4, and 4.5 and 5s....cause...I love my writings....but I always doubt myself. More so with my drawings...more so with EVERYTHING in my life.

I don't really consider myself that smart, or blessed with a lot of common sense. In fact, I am constanly trying to better myself, and I rarely succeed in anything--thats why when I do something right, even if its really small, I get so happy and jump around.

Its an odd feeling....trying to better yourself, and being a better person, but still sensing that you're falling short of everything because....really...I don't entirely know my strenghts...I know my weaknesses oh yea, those I know. But I don't really know where I truly stand out, where I can honestly hang onto that and such...


yea......